too busy to put too much emphasis on any one venture

since we only see with potential,
that  is a  good thing

some sad sap 5am saturday, and why not seek some kindness from self , from other-s

Should probably just shut down my feeds, but some things are so paltry, it doesn't really matter one way or the other--so, little things persevere, sometimes. And, have to just keep being, because otherwise...what?


*am drunk, will delete in morning, and am wondering what here relates to my social class (?) for
one to assume and denigrate*

happy for your privilege, though. Never judged you as less-worthy for it

reading shakespeare

"I just peed in the dark, because 
              I'm not worthy of light."

Hot tell, it's not that easy

HBO is kind of like the Bible. Hotel mainstay. And, realizing this made we notice that...well, I always thought Free HBO was incentive, because people like HBO (as is the case with Netflix@airBnB~some travel with your own credentials, all transmutable millennial, we know you want to, and consent with a big screen, share, like new...and standardized practices, but few) and--no research--having only lived in a world with Free HBO and Bible drawers (just checked if still there. still there, but I'm conglomerate stalking, on the fly) we post-nap speculation, and you know we love the mundane (insidious things that pass us by, foolish in daylight), is Free HBO advertisement for HBO? I mean, because that is what the Bible drawer is, something to say, "This is American life. You need this by your side." Readily consumable. Some space with in-moments of pain, weakness, boredom, and ecstasy. And now, my new business plan is to incorporate myself into that airBnB consistency, but what part of we should I desensitize a large audience to? And, how do we approach monetization? Mostly, all difference, we just want acceptance.

millennial condition?

Wait, wait, wait, is anyone else constantly afraid they are catfishing themself. I'm scared.

Agrees w phones auto-correct, every time

Used to be like, "Leave your body, Kevin, like a true prostitute." Now, just,

*airplane mode*

you aren't smart if you catch on and stop watching--you are just in deep-end performative denial, Artists.

if one person "oddly looks forward to" your programming,
others will too--and, at what point does posture matter?
at what point, and to what affect do we cause pause?

cut me up, cut me out--where's my name, b?

making a movie, for
a realer fake than you

fans say, "it's really raw"
fuck your mom's tech skills,

                                               i am vr

so sick of being angry and saying "eat me"

and, then, *side eye*
"no, really, though. eat me."

like if only we weren't so--desperate.

desperation really is a thing you grow into, huh?

all the things I've ever wanted. laid out like some path.
and all the things, right there, so easy, with no appeal at all

our body always bares Letters.written on.Especially when She tries to enact agency.

you said you didn't want to be my enemy
and, all the worst poems speak to the You.

romantic or not.

spar, cut, production, something honest, for once

there was really no closeness to save
and you should have been pristine and clear
like you want we to see.    so issue in deceit
*full drama, your sign loves :drama: cling*

and, right again, we aren't as smart as you--whatever the fuck that is.

(as if that is even a thing) so that I could live with the idea of you

but : think you are right : we aren't cool,
and I don't want to be alone with you (ever).

not anymore.
not anywhere.

and : there was a time: first-run thought
some getting wet just 10 ft away room full...anyway

There has never been anything but pain, some irreverence, it's sort of funny, but it has never been valued as the Same's speculative pain.

~And I couldn't move for a whole day,
saved with friends, some mutuals
and then theirs after 2 days came,
on spectacle, my whole body                   felt stone and heavy and darkened again.

And we want to cast you in a better light, we have tried for so long, and missed all the signs.

signal as weak
manipulative, do not dismiss the An other

we know we are too much, a lot, extra, but also, fuck feeling that way

*We couldn't do anything for a whole day, couldn't walk down the street without full-stop clutching our own body and trying not to weep...vomit...lose our limbs. you called we resilient once, they called we tough. We not. We most sensitive, duh,

                                                                               but we don't shut down the social, we welcome it, we learn in hurt.

we didn't know it was you we would face in resilient and tough

there is a reason some felt free and welcome to stay, and others felt like sure-fire imposition

that, and, we had to prove her wrong
when she said we were staying because
we had to prove ourselves right when we refused too
and, still not quite sure where it all lands...am i skeet ulrich from the craft (minus the date rape)?

And, like, full wounded animal, after one week, *again, waiting*

not even really a 'sorry'

+that word still holds value+

Like who are we? A person with enemies? Superhero. Soap opera.

And, we hate how 6 hour hangs can open month's old wounds,

didn't expect anyone to ever call you
 makes with we more pathetic, I guess.
What is real? "Enemy."

Obviously, no. In fact,
spent most (embarrassing) time waiting to be in your presence again,  and again, and again, right up until.

but, reverse pentacles, it's not in the cards

*and, we just wish we weren't attracted to

people who make us feel like trash-dirt-shit-stuff-

-we wish we wanted someone who respected us*

behind on all your work, because it's not like you allotted time for cry-masturbating into your busy schedule

*we still want to pretend they are sweet*

warm, wet, worn your back, again

*wish we hated you too*
*wish they called we two-faced instead*

like all vulnerable creatures,
full ego, we want to be remembered--
and, it doesn't even have to be accurate.   

an fb status we are too proud to [post]

the idea of being in pittsburgh, around certain ppl, makes me sick to my stomach
i am close to nyc and toronto~some others, even, if anyone wants to halloween me,
and druqks pls.

if some small gesture held value...you'd never move, still

this time, I'm the Queen of Cups

at some point a distinction, this cold, hard rock against my body

your payment has been successfully applied to your account
out in it and we keep hearing you
like, fuck it all, neoliberalism personified
i feel underappreciated in your presence, and fat.

turn, square, and skip--avoidance

fuck you, Withholding
erotic friend fiction part 4:
                                          you already broke my heart

kitty. kitty. kitty.

  // Shine it with two lights.
    Color3f lColor1 = new Color3f(0.7f, 0.7f, 0.7f);
    Color3f lColor2 = new Color3f(0.2f, 0.2f, 0.1f);
    Vector3f lDir1 = new Vector3f(-1.0f, -1.0f, -1.0f);
    Vector3f lDir2 = new Vector3f(0.0f, 0.0f, -1.0f);
    DirectionalLight lgt1 = new DirectionalLight(lColor1, lDir1);
    DirectionalLight lgt2 = new DirectionalLight(lColor2, lDir2);
    lgt1.setInfluencingBounds(bounds);
    lgt2.setInfluencingBounds(bounds);
    objScale.addChild(lgt1);
    objScale.addChild(lgt2);

i want to run my fingers  

they aren't looking at pictures of us, cross-referencing them with them

so
why
the fuck
are we.

do not answer that.

*airplane mode*

what is self worth, even?

realizing that you are making work about the violence of identification
while rarely regarding the ways in which physical violence has impacted
those you care about--

                                  self hate machine, some pain seems *is told like stories real long* to be more substantial, as in substantiated.

and, now, even this just feels like imposing my body on a space that doesn't want it

<script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script src="micksbday2017.js" type="text/javascript"></script>to the beat of silent shout

knee deep, bacon grease. Squeel1.0 piggy--all local, of course

we are just selling some promise of the something to come--just
asking people to suspend disbelief, to think we've got on to them

and assume they are getting in on the ground floor of...something.

winter submissives are worse for the wear

two sides of the coin:

I've been out here working like crazy
______________<>______________
Just drinking a bottle of wine alone
in the woods to up my threshold, for

all our lovely parties.

I've been so lost out here looking for everything

and
every sleepy town
should have me in-residence

someone to lurk around at night
to dance under your humbled streetlights

push away tablets for games, so insecure we are going to steal from them. their identity, even

Guns, tractors, sweet store called name of town, many maple products and local organic coffee, a win...description of person walking on street artist, or gonna steal something from my car?

some social you find for we

known now as the person that either can't or won't speak...
drive out of the cold shoulder solitude
into what resembles a city,
always go to this specific
to coo
to listen
to the husky voice of the barista,
like so many before me

deep throat, no clue

You know the Kevin that dies at the end is just mountain Kevin, right? And then regeneration. But, won't we all miss mountain kevin

So sentimental and readied, for settling down, right there, between yours

And, find a something or an other thing

listening to lola wolf in the woods, every fuckin day,

the song
that I played.

my, *gonna drive you home song*

evil, they like that we pine.

You gotta be curious.
What you think of me?

You think I'm a lot. I'm a lot.

poetry,

So, just look at your followers

Or, so you hope.
But, sometimes, I just don't understand.
300 dollars, I mean she even broke a rib once.
We were watching and walking, and my back. Hahaha

90s intimacy sim(ulation)

Five is a series about people unable to escape the circumstances set-up during their youth-in-trauma, capital, and pretending, like, it's cool at the end, because they are all-fam, together, brought others into their misery. Actors 5-10 years older than care.

.we are waiting to be unpacked.

but some...just...broken
*hearts* in all the way
of late.

quantifiable performance of early.mid. life.crisis

While at, stuck in the mud,
You surely are glad, you
surely cared more,
considered them
some favorite.

Remove me right now

A wall of products, some
lost on mind. We say *confused*
choose two things, specific
cannot conflate self w others, *we*t

It's too idealistic, it's cruel.

They
They
They fucking hate me.

No food, no alcohol, no place, area in back

What happens if you lose a thumb?
Miss it, only, to get into my phone.

Miss you, only
think of you.
All there.
All night.

You can probably find me...at the beach. If you're single, come and find me

UnMatched.com, farm life,
I want to know what it is
too. That beauty type thing.

But, you don't look ready.

Period. I mean, I'm cute and unimposing.

 I don't get angry dudes. Like, who gets mad at someone they've been crushing on because they feel rejected.? I mean every time I have a thing for someone and they don't reciprocate, when I'm over it, I'm just like that was sad and funny and sweet and I enjoyed it for that. What's the harm in that... for the sleepless party.

I ain't nothing but tried

Fear for being
Pool

New thing coming
In pool

What are you fighting for?
Some end. Myself. At dark.

spreading thin, heavy load, they feel it too

Same purple
Understand
Some escape

this line in certain engagement, you might bump heads--short-lived

Strength card, compassion.
We find all lucky ### pool in it.
Bring we down, acknowledged entitlement
Is still entitled.    Passionate people, fire.air.

Relief from heartache. Air sign, coming. Make things right with fire sign.

It was once a body, they called
it Monday, and fully sign, write, stamp below.

poet or

just troll
???????

super into social practice's rebranding as socially-engaged art practice

boxing is a great way to get out my pent-up aggression, and burn some calories.

we see you better in the dark

Read this (excerpt from 2011 Fiction class) and realize that what I thought was new is old, and I haven't changed a bit: 

Open. Double-fisting Jesus and Kirsten Dunst walk by. They don’t say, “Hi.” I question the bridges I have burnt. My mica flecked so-called smartphone...

objects hold meaning in difficult times

totems of cultures that have withstood disaster,

associations made.
 what do you say?

NO TEXT is a text

humor is a social act that performs a social function always

laughable: people who are offended by being called 'white'

if we are functioning in a space where racial distinctions are made, you don't evade

when we tried to counter attacks through convoluted discourse

do you consider this a critique of this person/political figure, or, the complicated systems that constructed, construed, appropriated, and exploited his image/identity?

throughout history? still? you?

you are using his image and his name and he is never allowed to speak for himself. (this is audio)
i do not disagree with it--it is just an interesting decision. a smart way to get your point across.
*i do the same thing* i use examples to explicate abstract systems*
yours is historical, of course. it seems a little self-righteous. but, what isn't.

i do wonder about the visuals.

critique i didn't give, full delay, appreciate the generousity you are now missing

practice at large, dynamic of change, difference alter landscape over time
it is hopeful, do not be afraid of being hopeful, there is a critique there too
 i go on about the <self satisfied> power of language itself. do not take self serious, it's boring

uncanny valley|emotionally unavailable

these are tools. this is what i look like with bangs.
(move hands through hair) that movie the craft
pretty sure it was about retaliating against those
who share your socially proscribed identity. some
not-so-subtle from the sameness. the dom. the dads.
it is also about hurting others as a form of self-help.
it is also about finding a community & turning on it.
it is also about the virgin & the whore. I FEEL THAT.
(pulls hair up) after something snarky "I'm a troll"

include weird psycotic things ppl do in mirrors
"i bit my tongue earlier and I'm bleeding out."
fake blood. *we have no interior life*

how tos are hard poetry, odd instruction, in explicitly constructed space

object oriented language can be split apart into different objects,
classes
idea,       encapsulated language s hve their own

built-in
manual reference garbage

thesis revolves around the language of the everyay~the subversions of rhetoric, what is 'real'? going on? queering is beyond the site of self

and, We Are Product store
but, we don't use cookies

designed

to give you access to specifics

self-help, self-care, within a system that breaks worth down, but worth doesn't exist without

email k8, order vitamins, simone weil, sew 2 h, figure dates, makeout w __ before end of semester

smooth gif t next to me

borrow for documentation
how framed we are
have a {} night!

the problem: I, I Is--me, me mes

don't really belong to me
learned early, I m not mine
what is body? what is self?
one of those chapters in anOther

still under guise of me. the person said persona. not a company

a roe or character adopted by an author or actor
aspect of one's character that is presented or
perceived by others
psychology

the part of the psyche that inward ,touch, sub

refuse to justify own POV--you're just going to have to come on, my face, anyway.

white bar height

*have to talk about what is appropriate for certain bodies
&sanctioned
&control is violence

serious unfortunate events--here is the answer, animations and graphs

this is my electric chair, it is about the dissolution of self into the increasingly pervasive social

notes on planter. waiting for everyone to die, the phone must

have a surprise & needs image to be the real thing. I wanted your bodies so badly, our life could barely sleep mode.

manipulation is not a bad word, you are

proclaim to large audience that you don't like people who are nice to you.
see who gets rough.

question your favorite feminist, openly
call them sexist, see who bites,

know
where
they
stand

boring identity, maybe i was irony

keylight plugins, left behind
for those less engaged in self
mediation(((outside, looking in
media, removal, affect (fig. 12)
what they didn't get in the late-90s

internet as colonized [spacebar]

forms of valuation call elf,
call earth, politics own image
liberation, crawls out in front

identify objects and interpret 3d space

pixel data from camera, augmanted reality filters on rice
locate facial, active shapes--fermenting for one whole month

what's hot + good?

h has been subjected to asexualization (age we)
and, still, endured gender-bias--some one free up     equality

ivy league ratchet

tell me it looks busy from the outsider!!!

i like your name because it has the same initials as my mums.

said that life could be art, the everyday, and beauty. art is about beauty again? i don't care about the beauty, but everyday is beauty, maybe. beauty as truth, something ugly in me.

otherness,

to be honest is to be other, because you can never know what you are unless it is contrary to the sameness. dominant. cult, imagine i am the dominant, language. i do it all the time.

just an illusion trying to change the...reality, artist

the singularity, just figured out you can own me the other day, 2 ways

i am you. the illusion of equality is a powerful tool. i use it too. against you, against me. i am all covered in skin. imagine it covering all of this, these seats, even. sit on me.

unfinished, yet consistent subjectivity

“you are making people aware of injustice, of how actions factor into everyday experience on a small scale, through small movements”   “or making them aware that I’m an asshole.” “maybe aware that they are assholes, and people hate that.”

for mediation expansion

     subject: to be placed under     subject to      being placed under     

word itself     not isolated, [social],        but is one that operates w/shared + general   

postmodern--strategic, global, effective—there is little left to the subject

bhabha ‘mimicry’. H’s “minimal selves” P’s “sexed self”.         death of the subject. subject of feminism. or. other. 

we self, power structure,  question self. history of self is only productive where idea includes cultural remains, for value