This popsicle meltdown is contrived to invite contradiction and relief

Sometimes I just want to make an Escape Room of my biggest fans and my biggest detractors (I know you are like, "who could not like Kevin?"...I know half of you...a third(?) of you are like, "who could possible ever, in a thousand years (or whatever the saying is) not appreciate Kevin's smart ass, yet innocent mischief? Kevin is so smart and funny and humble, what kind of Seitan-hating...?")...I want to make an Escape Room filled half and half with my biggest fans (who think far too much of me) and my detractors (who probably secretly love me, but treat me like a garbage person and apparently have no problem calling me 'trash' as if that weren't a terrible reflection of their inner-hidden-self, as if it didn't betray their polite facade, their self-righteous and humble-bragging nature...and, whom thinks they are smarter and more talented than I am, but, like, actually, I am not at all convinced and am like, "Sorry, I'm so intelligent, but also hilarious. Sorry I speak my mind with reckless abandon (seriously though). Sorry I expect a lot from other humans and find considered critique an act of respect. Sorry I don't actually villianize people, but rather expect a system to create a safer environment...cute that you thought I was that petty though. Cute that you took words (full post-irony) at face value over actions. Cool that I already knew that Could happen, but totally thought you were more More than that. And, yeah, we are cool. Am always cool. Can't you tell?!?! ^^^^) *am not drinking at all, just a fever dream, go back to sleep* So, wait, oh, right, I want to fill a room with lovers and haters, so that, through conversation, they could each have a more measured view of this whole thing, this organism-configuration-thing. What I'm trying to say, dreamlovers, is that I wish I could see myself through your eyes.