Saturday, April 28, 2018

engineered for virtual drama

manufactured more or less,
People are intrigued,   engaged
telling fictional stories in spaces
reserved for reality

remain anonymous.

a false narrative,  goal of building, Is it “art”?

everything is easy with Her *side eye emo*

so, why would I wait for a challenge

there is that irrational thing, "release me"
side-eye, no. really.

a butterfly flew through my heart,

vr made a ghost of me, and
i figured it out. when i fucked up,

it's because i didn't like their cooking,
domestic. and, i grew up spoiled so i
never make myself polite. and,

i was softer than they thought. surprise!

just so you know, it was going to be cute
i was going to be the boy from the wrong
side of the tracks, you never brought home
to meet the folks. secrets!
i'm mush.


I could tell I was going to lose the race, somehow

And, I was over. It was bad.
I was writing poetry, calling
them little seed, and listening
to mid-00 music in the dark,
underwear, no socks.            I didn't want to.

masturbating to something melodrama,
like, and twee, *I'll tell you one thing,
hold on, hold on, to the ones you love*
that's not fair, masturbating and listening
in the dark and crying self to sleep.         We didn't even pull out.

*and, I'm always competing with cishet men, even when I don't think I am*

and, I could tell

I was going to lose

*I didn't want a race, so***

websites flatline for two whole days

and, someone tried to
say  something encouraging,
but, it just made me feel mediocre

and, I can't live without it,
I don't want to, I've done
that my whole life. *heads*

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

a convincing wave of jaded carelessness

the sound of selling out
willful self-realization
ragging yourself out to party
only other option is too dark

seizure-inducing lights
fucking work,
yelling so hard
death is tragic

it’s unfortunate that 
it’s hard to feel like
passing for plastic is
predatory and unpleasant

the culture that informed my youth is more irrelevant than ever

starve off and deny

every doubt and sadness and confusion
an order to start our lifestyle
I could still get what I wanted
brands to build a following.

managed to convince myself like a deranged motivational speaker for one

no other way to go but up,
till I was so exhausted I cried.

freeze time, aopocalyptic pop music

collage hopping onto private jet, always lit 
glow of an on-camera light. In between 
big and loud and barely each other, 
picture-perfect, up-down-up-down 
repetitive, predictive nostalgia, 

but also an entire youth
borrowing adulthood 
Our outside chance of 
one day owning a house 
bottomless need for 

shiny and expensive

I remember waking up plugged in for the first time

sat on a folding chair I had found outside
I was building something. I opened my laptop, 
still stealing the signal from next door, towering 
synth line, blissed-out rave babies. lucrative 

which nobody had seen since the digital erosion

never embodied more purely
build to be approachable
the stabbing at a party
in your dark unfurnished 
apartment, spoke of promise

the possibility of getting everything you want after all

faded silhouette: here, future, stay

starting from scratch, couch surfing, l
job and apartment, not an unusual practice 
college graduation, unfortunate Year 
bottomed out, two or three heartbreaks. 

But now I was back, baby, 
reinvented myself from Hollywood Forever. 
a mattress dropped off.

Monday, April 23, 2018

diagram of:is science hitting a wall:productivity and research?

all empirical supremacy:
listens to all love tarot, "they
realize you are what they want,
they cannot stop thinking about you."
*smh* literally no one, and we like that.

Miquela v that bigotbot

had the most freeing, *scoff* "that's Sandy Frink?!" moment last month.

&it's incredibly messed up to sit-in-happiness at another's disempowerment.

even if it just occurs in your mind. but, the heart wants what the heart wants.

Thursday, April 19, 2018

you have been *fully* triggered, follow her

we are compilations of our ‘master’s too. that is the sick of it. Igor and Frankenstein, play doctor.

for the 100th time, Heterotopia: where the real and unreal meet—the internet, a mirror, a rite of passage/ritual. *the future and the past*

This involves language. It is a theory card (the Foucault card), and you are heavily guided by post-structuralism—as Foucault is the ‘master’ text-er of queer theory…and (superlatives) Haraway and Butler follow him.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

next BIG movie

It is
*narcissism positioned as political...capitalist desperation*
just my credit card statement, 2018

fondle my trigger and blame my Jellybean

oversimplified and designed
minimal amount of information,
access to your data to make me sick

improved just as sophisticated
gathering technology that licks my lips
surrounds us, don't you baby

every interaction. my fingers turn to fists

the beast accessing my microphone, camera roll, 
I have location services, calendar, contacts, 
inside me: motion sensors, speech recognition,

and accounts. accounts. accounts.
see, they don't work without. you.

dial-by-numbers, your apps already know too much

listen to your breath, call it acoustic emission
I would standby inside you, hold a hand in death
You don't know this narrowband of precious ache 
I can give, I can take, reading Broadly

Come to my dialog window
Crawl inside, some LCD light instead of fire
I'll be home soon with my lines open 
Nothing autofills the blackness like 
I'm burning pixels just to search you, desire 
can't afford to sleep with subordinate needs
Giving away promises, machines can't keep

please have mercy, bad dreams, disappear, let me though your window: AV, we've reached post-scarcity

machine-generated populace, I'm so cold, I've come home.  

when morning came, we'd roll in green: business today

automatons out in the windy moors, in this new age
have a temper like my mass robo-luxury
and if we make drudgery redundant,
I'm too hot and I'm too greedy

how could you leave me, 3D
when I needed you, solid freeform
fabrication and printing few
I hated you, algorithms,
I loved you too

a world of abundance
smart enough to pass for human
bad dream told me I'd lose the fight
machine-abetted plenty to leave behind
loom in the corner there,

When I first met you, with dreams in your heart.

ideology springs, under blue skies and marbled things
they tangle a home in your eyes
well-observed fires came
trends made it rain

We'll never be apart.

technological progress perfumed everything
labor productivity rising, we laughed in pain
searching for a vast-like space
to catch a storm in your heart

The robots are just getting started.

one more article on silicon valley venture capitalists

woke up dreaming on the lawn
and held a hand full under seams
pulling out for smaller things
and, so slow down
oh, sure, I guess
hard lights hold tight and sleep the night, we lazy
calling fights shallow, you're bright: keep us here safely
I followed in a car through shadows we made freely, and

lied in the sun, everyday 
feeling some of the magic 
you might like to wonder
*but these things, they are giving me the creeps *

we live now. read: more.

location: futurist left end paradise
political spectrum, fully automated
the garden embraces to fullest extent
Ada and Van Veen, erotic automation
part of the point: anything labeled so

the tendency to automate labor, turn things
only to utopian demand, a full knowledge
with common ownership of rapid change
post-work and heavy lifting fears
not-for-profit, but a way-of-life

 "cybernetic meadow, tended to by machines of loving grace."

been listening to a lot of music from the mid-00s lately, and didn't know i'd midlife so soon, an it's freeing, and she doesn't want me to call it that, as if the act would accelerate *XX*

please predict
the exact date:

the death of the screen

we know it is unconventional, but we find that our *best* work is done by forcing a hand

into places we once feared to roam.

is for super

and sexual
is all systems down.

Monday, April 16, 2018

am Steve buschemi from GW.

 literally go on socials just to annoy myself, see who is liking what bs, commentary like, boring. what, <insert name> doesn't even like <insert name>, what game are you playing at, <insert name>? Kill me.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Friday, April 13, 2018

what does it mean to construct a real thing in a space for mining? and, full politic, I never cared about the Real Thing

Was thinking about how I hang out <mostly> with ppl who would <probably> have bullied me in middle school and high school...but, fuck, they are some of the only ppl I trust, because they <also> understand what it is like to be suspect-from-GO, are honest-of-privilege without playing saints, hold irony in their hearts <invented post-its!> and are the HYPEbeasts I need when I'm so low-in-head.

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

"happy or placated?" *sigh*

i need to research some organizational tactics across platforms and i'm, like, typing "organizational tactics" into the search field thinking: oh fuck, is this how other people would word this? but really, should i also start a bullet journal (for the digital age--haha)? i'm dying. save me, post-its! *you must be included in all aspects of my daily life--xo. sorry!*

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

"sometimes it's okay to suck a little bit, most people suck a lot"

The subject imposed itself

in personal dimension, a hegemonic position with banal images that form elicit empathy; product objects, become a tool, respectful of elitist, who cares? digestible. quick and unconvincing overhaul of Marxist discourse.   

self-absorbed and deadpan, kmn.

Nothing else was funny

implications of technology
art. politic. social.

cool kids staring. always staring.
subversive, or not

they mimic engagement rather than.
you guessed it, discuss.

the end of the internet as we know it.

•°•~provision, this title~•°•

   Capitalism, Capitalism
      Donna Haraway

   Capitalism, Capitalism, Capitalism
      Donna Haraway

   Capitalism, Capitalism, late Capitalism
      Silvia Federici

Medium, fuck off

High hopes & all, as soundtracks you could hear
*fuck off, our beloved & gentrified*
the least radical move, the scared mourn their privilege
Smile with a face, stiff & white

I have open windows

From November,
if that isn't a...sign of the times.

should not be questions for analysis, re: our culture

the experience of feeling that other people, objects, and the world around them are not real.

the experience of feeling that their body does not seem to belong to them.