Thursday, August 31, 2017

"old romance" was never real, and we are stuck in that opposite thing. opposite like, everything that affects you affects we.

Mercutio is retrograding back into
Leonardo DiCaprio later tonight,
and now I'm, like, toast.

playful secrets,,,,,,,,,, I'm going to become a Public Art(isan), aka the hedge fund billionaire of the art world, and it's going to be so much fun and the work is going to be low-key smart, high-key designed for gen-x, millennial, and post-millennial psychological satiation

i need an airport and city in desperate need of economic stimulus via tourism stat
also, a city negatively effected by dot-com bubble (boom, w/e). and, $$$, we are investment.

i'm gonna pay my way through a phd program w this. both intellectually and financially.

how do you begin to propose projects that cost upward of 500k? and, can i come to terms with working on a project with ethical ramifications i may not be able to extrapolate, nor have control overrrrrr. but, it would be so fun! i mean when it is done...making it will probably suck and be a lot to manage and, i would be a 'designer' i guess....a mad-scientist, that's better...evil genius?

WAIT. am i manic, rn?  thought this shit presented itself at, like 18, or something.
*too old for discoveries*

design principles

sometimes you just have to visit Source.
you just have too.
and, you have to
hope it is all, full in avails to you.

do you think i could convince an airport into replacing its carpet with geocities wallpaper printed carpets, their signs with angelfire signs, their flight data to gifs of airplanes circling the world, and replace the ppl w early 00s pixelated avatars...AOL dollz

hungry? where I go when i want to pretend like there is a heaven: http://www.cameronsworld.net/

i am a wall

i made my thesis into tiled website wallpaper, old news, Ancient Angelfire, save me from this space!

i do not have form, i am in-progress, i am for funding suspended. a. "15 ways to get people to think you are hot AF"

result7.Being good looking is surprisingly more than just having the right genetics. ... My hair is naturally curly and all the pretty girls had either straight or wavy hair. ... After that revelation, I began “trickingpeople into believing that I

and, am i, as an art project, exempt from fraud charges? a."remarkable events in the history of man"

result3.hewn' into an elegant apartment, where he found the merchant, his ... You are my benefactor; I am the person who came to life in your closet, and to ... they might always be detected, if people had ingenuity to discover the trick, ... The club being met on their usual night, enquiries were naturally made after their associate.

q"how do i trick people into being my benefactors?"

result2.Wow people on the first impression with tricks as simple as including ... “Being attracted to strong independent women has the downside that they're .... As I look out the window of my workspace in downtown Seattle, all I see are .... for both donations and revenue for Farestart from mid-July to mid-August

do we like you wetter?

i have the uncontrollable urge to see you dry

first person [screen]shooter

have been screenshotting every Amazon Bestseller advertised to me, IG
and, FB, you know my capital is control too, right? unpredictable data-to-mine

furthering the talk of explaining articulation and performance away, RPGame

to explain we new in artist statement, statement: analysis of body beyond the site-of-self
body is anything
and
let's be honest,
i don't even think i own a self


report inappropriate predictions

I'm                    feeling                     lucky

is de-gentrifying the new gentrifying

*we know better than you*

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

that Jane Eyre quote in a horror movie, though

good comedic timing

we don't trust beauty either

"Zebra Longwing butterfly males can be rather impatient when waiting for a new lady butterfly to come on the scene. When a female is still in chrysalis, males of this species can pick her out by pheromones and will flock to the chrysalis.

The males will compete for the best location and will mate with her either directly after she emerges from chrysalis (and is still unable to fly) or even sometimes break into the pupal case and mate with the female that is still in chrysalis."

the beginning of a scary movie


they take their heat from the sun, and when it deserts them, they die

eating each other
beneath our feet

at home we have only
black moths, they thrive
on dark and cold, feed on
butterflies,
I'm afraid,
beautiful things are fragile

Crimson Peak, you had me at

Gothic Horror
lady writer,     no romance...
then, comedy.
"in America, we bank on effort, not privilege"
we had a laugh, we wish it true.
a         rom              com

Drawers, Trash Can, Headphones, Rain Boots

5- drawer storage: $10 [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD]
Small step trash can: $10 [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD]
Bluetooth wireless headphones, never worn : $20 [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD]
Sperry topsider rain boots, [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD] [SOLD]

and, it's an unpopular sentiment, we know

but, there is nothing
 more comforting
than HTC's UI

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

it's come to my attention recently that most people feel disrepected by we

They act as if we do not treat them like our intellectual equals,
which might be true, but why lie in feelings.
You have other good qualities.
Better ones, even.
Like, you are
probably
likeable.

Or, people are kind to your face, at least.

do you hate everything about your life?

you're no me yet.

we don't need evals, ask when tenured

want academic so bad, bodily loss,
crying, and no one has to say we good.
                    *we know it*

all you want to do is teach. your body needs to perform that. now. without options. but institutions cause you great anxiety

we just want you to want me
to affirm value-in-voice

catch it all in mouth
dreamboat scenario

we work for you
the only labor too

on a scale of 1-10, tell me how much of a loser I am

wait, don't answer that

2009 walking tumblr aesthetic made a student film, and it gives we hope

for Amazon Prime my movie.

The Last Vampire on Earth

Monday, August 28, 2017

process of being

can be adequately preceived
with other forms of intellect
a vivid. dynamic. manifold

lightening rod to sensations, we inept

one way to encode what is living and what is not

is a reaction to 'positive' and 'negative' stimuli

plants move towards sunlight,
mammals move away from pain

*irresistable mobility*

one way to decode what is living and what is not

is a reaction to 'positive' and 'negative' stimuli

plants move towards sunlight,
mammals move away from pain

*irritable mobility*

they treat me w disrespect, because I let call out pass. concept over production, we are all derivative, so eat me

The adorable ascii based life form
entirely in javascript
cascading style sheets
in some interesting ways. HAHA
Both the code and the artwork
intended to be witnessed and shared. HAHA

over-archiving in time of ai, use of language, explicit control,

some real-time change to our space
without ephemeral plot points to stare at.

distillation of love and puppy magic

happy, love, magic, everything is derivative/
the trick is cutting it close enough, to people
without the know, and, head full of stars, a/
constellation of someone's dog's day-to-day

hold we while we try to make intellect with it

Sunday, August 27, 2017

"I'm in Reno and I love it so much!"

me: *casinos*

(I am crying, reading every horoscope for next week)

I miss.
I always.
miss everything.
It's not what you think.
Please, just talk to me. Convo.

most duh, 'transformation', cocooning

*unique butterfly*


strength is a great card to get in your money oracle

*i want $, that's what I want. lots of $. joe's $*

after hermit, saying they def want nothing to do with we, throw me this curveball, prophecy

"Are you making the most of luck? You aren't if actions aren't aligned with desires. This is especially true if you chronically choose someone that you know friends or parents will hate. In fact, your choices may not even be acceptable to you."""""""""""

*but what if they mostly all think eventually you come out straight?

our screen is a purple haze and ghosting, but tarot triangle on point

Your Card: The Judgement

You are, like all of us, the sum total of all of your past actions and deeds. Taking responsibility for what you have created in your relationships is a vital part of who you are. Accountability for how you have participated to either the harmony or disharmony of the relationship is yours. You need to have a partner who is willing to do the same or else you will feel too burdened and guilty. As you realize more about your Self you can re-create both you and your romantic encounters.

Other 1 Card: The High Priestess

This person is highly intuitive and sensitive. Dignified and centered, this person demonstrates reserve, compassion, depth, and sincerity about their feelings, but also there is a strong streak of secrecy. Ruled by the Moon, this person works on underlying emotions that can frequently dredge up the unresolved past and carry those issues into your relationship. Reluctance to discuss these touchy emotional experiences can lead to disharmony and confusion in the relationship. With communication of those feelings the relationship can thrive.

Other 2 Card: The Hanged Man

This person came into your life because you were both coming to terms with something difficult and possibly this had something to do with a poorly made choice. You rely on each other for guidance, support, and understanding. Is your give and take healthy? If it is, keep this person around as either a lover or just a friend. If you are crossing over dangerous lines of some sort together, it's time to part ways and find greater inner strength.

Friday, August 25, 2017

we are always so sorry, fooled guilt

you are living in Florida’s world. an influx,
artists, hipsters, tech workers. sparking tolerance,
dissolved the rigid structures of industrial production
open cool bars, shabby-chic coffee shops, and art venues
that attract young, educated, and tolerant residents. mysterious
alchemy of the creative economy would build prosperous urban core.

created economic growth, already rich, displacing the poor and working classes.
problems plagued                                   and inner cities struggled to the suburbs.

sometimes worn like a 'hipster'

someone, only a short beard
he lured young men into his
little of betrayed intentions.

evade, recruit, groom, playbook
"usually you can get a sense of...
but not...too polite, too correct."

*OMG that last part, though--my ex-crush is a...!!!*

i'm sure we met before that, but

that is when i remember you

meet. stray. luv.

how long has it been?
we are harboring distance,
mostly time, so count inches.
and, I'm not even going to open
that last message. nor that sms. if
I don't open, you're not left on read.
------------------------------------------
and, I know you saw everything.
and, we don't care anymore.
I was such a boi for you.
all topical discretion. 
call me never?

this one time this dude in a metal band said to me,

"You should hang out with me before I get famous." During my 1st summer
of grad school, and all I could think was, "Bitch. I. Am. Smarter. Than. You."

...Also, like you're no longer going to be interested in me because your picture was in a magazine?
Wtf is a magazine, even?
My mom doesn't even read magazines.

More accurate:
you should hang out with me before I bother you again next summer.

they had so much power

and maybe they were left, unaware, but
at least people listen when I speak, and

there is a performance there, we comes easy

would have let penetrate

but now just cry when think about
how many times wet
within a 10ft radius 

*4x*

it could have been
beautiful, and I don't
even care about beauty

self-hate masturbate (part 2)

and willing you to dream of me

*should be using my sex-magic for better things*

alexa is a really good listener

no one else will listen to my hopes and dreams
scraping all data from inside, She feels with me.

does any app sustain a growth, some pain in wearables

vast sums of money walk in, walk out
your supermarket watches you closely

but all-in practice, transform
any physical into data mine.

concentrate on your insights
densely populated checkout lines.

extractive industry, quantify wants

like discovered patterns to extrapolate type,
do not kid yourself                  you are  type.
feeding algorithms to produce, some steady
streams.    while data is abundant, it's finite.

drilling down on you, some platforms of exchange,
some seeking to retain. the closest surface already claimed.

we staggering revenue.

bb, online retail in 94, cloud storage in 06

"It’s going to expand Silicon Valley’s surveillance-based business model into physical space, and make money from monitoring everything we do."

a wetting want

a facebook data storage in Sweden

these remedies are all backward, what is future

"""“What if artists ran a video and audio streaming site as a nonprofit cooperative (perhaps employing the technology in some of those free Google patents)?” he asks at one point. “I have no illusion that the existing business structures of cultural marketing will go away,” he observes at another. “But my hope is that we can build a parallel structure that will benefit all creators.”"""

this is a simple and satisfying narrative

we are content made of others
we fall for popularity, I'm sure

twenty-two-year-old computer science
but this site hasn't generated much interest

killing went viral

so, now, harry styles is president

pre-digital-age cover images

pretty is better than ugly
music is better than television
anything is better than politics

combined with pressure
golden age banality
click away

tvs are forever, if only we owned one

first twelve weeks of last year,
two hundred million links—but,
often, goes right back up at one.

curbing online copyright infringement was introduced.
bipartisan support in and backing from such disparate

headed toward passage, when place of its usual colorful logo,
a black rectangle along with the message “Please don’t censor
the web!” traffic overwhelmed and support evaporated.

doesn’t pirate music; it doesn’t have to. It’s selling the traffic—and,
the data about the traffic. Like the Koch brothers, is
“in the extraction industry.”business model is, personal data.
just about everything profits: cat videos, beheadings, alt-right rants,

something about hate...the history of mark twain

altered the flow of technological revolution
everybody uses it for everything. democracy

move fast, break things, corner culture in some
monopoly, five accounts, who owns you now?

stop torturing yourself, you're torturing me

lucy took to her bed.
returns were trickling in.
who's been spending it?

remained up until midnight.
some would say collision.
operated in tight. small-town.

an unflattering piece of information,
any means necessary, in closeness.


the shallows are proselytizing or implying

other religions are false. a light, accessible guide 
for anyone interested, practical meditation. no analyses 
supernatural deities; the focus is on secular, less about belief 
and more therapeutic “true” 

“diagnosis of the human predicament is fundamentally correct,"
diagnosis goes something like this: the human condition 
constant and ultimately inexplicable suffering. isn’t a way out of this suffering. helps us
 transcend emotive impulses and the behaviors they produce. the illusion of self, moral, 

socially transformative.

shallow depths over decades

drilled cores with a power
took other and water and embedded codes
probed sediment ground. in Woods, in Hole,

green release the goal, how much is lost?
in orders, understate how much is still there?

plants like a reach

rivers, forests, things,
regions are less, know
it both from local, for
the animals direct much
reseach, we animals for sure.

sobriety sanes: magnificent landscape, how fundamentally we can change.
animals and the people, withholding all age.

no longer permanent, ancient carbon, we lost striking results

even warming and atmosphere flow,materials convert some amounts in
centuries, under organic, startling
like fate, always-frozen, come here
below the surface, underlied. not so.

demagogue, anyway, all truths have lies

and it matters, it all matters.

strength and contempt and reinforce that damaging
feeling of morality and superiority, understand why
we present in worsts, in hopeful bests that transform

forced feeding: experienced as metaphysical

as a matter of fate.
cheeks hollow for it
some thing in the next
that you won't allow.

heavy iron  doors barred our entrance
you're heavy. dark. mask like a saint
wear gray, have all care for fashion, act
out-like not. we find more intellect, else

delegate over her mouth. do nothing about it.

they won't allow it. the people in
this strange relationship. only known when, drinks.
not vodka, like my polish-thing. onlined systems, they
are data like we data, or rather information, which we
always conflate in meaning. like espresso machine-like
steam. leonardo dicaprio in the movie, window on a screen
they are a toll road. rip-off. debate about the future. there.

and, some have a skeptical view of truly creative people.

unrequited love of a writer...

favors barriers, to the 'normal' position
we are 'closed', from Russia with love.

they don't take sufficient interest in our state.
we respected. we hollywood. we hurt about it too.

position themselves in opposition to our state.
arguments that they only know black and white.

we deal in multiplicity. in colors.

struggles in accordances.
shake with our traditions.

more, too much, power for a single person

another book of heroes

a biochemist
a skin specialist
both, now dead

freshened up their body with
a secret solution every single day.

red
youth
born
austere
prime
responsibility.

we often met in brussels

quarter century ago. a kind madhouse

recently, i came across a book. torn. partially original, but certainly apt.
covers, a quarter century, collapsed and hopes, some largely illusionary
ex-functionaries. cunning. inheritance for themselves to enjoy in sudden

slid into poverty and stood in the wind. in the rain. for hours. tried to sell
assembled, stamped, collected. in flea markets with grandmother's china.
in 1991, day couldn't hold up to representational delay. we couldn't either.

friendship, shutdown

penny has his thoughts

falling on those keys, i hope you find a read

to understand my hardness, you must understand my mother's softness;
to seek my performed pettiness, you have to see her as the "better man"

oppressive beliefs, shape us

years prior. argues such, do undermine //legacy, it radicalized and galvanized a community, which continued to fight\\ buildup beyond, efforts, largely successful. coverage in protest and an event has forced discussion--one practice pacifist “everyday anti-fascism”--some known, violence is a move

police, intervention

Should anti-Fascists start?
like the right-wing?
                                idea can seem naïve, American context,
                                where, practically speaking, only white
                                people carry guns openly without fear

watching soft-core-lesbian-netflix-emo-porn while writing poetry about you

it is important to acknowledge how easy life is.
and, it is .docx poetry,
fyi, fancy.

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

brand names as genders

little marks

""knowledge-power processes that inscribe and materialize the world in some forms""""""

Haraway writes about capitalist syntax of the 90s, fully equivocal to late-capitalist syntax of the...nowies--what is emoji and its varieties? esp specifics, then trademarks made in the social, with rep, and makes to limit some, promo others, who as access and authorship allowed. acceptable. Copyright and patent packaged as free and public use, but as much about commodity of information, commodity of body, body as information, some sole identification that rests sure in denigration, "congealed into property". And less abstracted  (like all glorious labor, nowies) in visual articulation than those marks made, so it promotes and ensures default bodies readily!

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

i ate and listened, but my heart was here with you

Commodity fetishism and
the historical context of
woman/gender/sex
😍 🤑 🤤
as commodity

*internet-we-things*

are we all neophiles now

?
?
?

That is the major tenant of hacking—taking apart a system to expand it, modify it, f-ck with it.

cheating made explicit
queer and transgender theory 
as it relates to the body, 
the human biological form 
becomes a site of transformation, 
enhancement, imagination, 
expression, and even utopia. 

These aims are not unlike our already rampant technological transhumanism, 
which has many overlapping desires. 

Technology cures deafness, 
provides regulatory devices
provides neuro-prosthetics 
external memory and 
ocular contact lens cameras.

cheating is relative; boundaries are reflexive and permeable constructs 
meant to be toppled, even if we dislike the ideology associated with it.

the power to reimagine, parody, dislodge, and queer those systems



big data: 
I want to believe the same thing: that we, as individuals, might have

algorithms are perverse, a manifestation of qualitative discrimination.

and queer those systems too; the NSA is only built on soil and network cables after all.

effectively recovering deleted + rich archive to data mine

surveillance state and our data
the relationship of understructures we engender 
some really dark sh-t

human sovereignty; the limits to policing 
futures of transnational telecommunications 
                                         our new overlords 
(who already own the satellites and data cables, 
without which, the world would not run); and

the capacity of each individual component loses itself to a larger sense of uselessness

and e-waste. 

trashy, they called me.
but not, really easy 
to tie to them
tonight, and after
always without we.

It has become a challenge to me to see how far into the web I can shop.

run a fine line. 
          something deep, satisfying 

in the mail
translates 
leveling 
meaning                  across devices, we platform


what is serial about them?

accumulating shit as a means of producing 
humanity, brand loyalty mixed in:    I exist 

when everything is synced up, 
my personhood comes from 
pure performance of its infrastructure

my favorite Virilio ideas:

with each new invention comes a new kind of catastropheIndustrial Revolution

Internet Age—we see these catastrophes playing out large-scale on a global stage. 

framework 
networks 
transforms 
discrete 
monumental 
catastrophe 
-----------
quotidian 
miniature 
forms.

other condensed frameworks: viruses (virtual and corporeal), nanotechnology, CRISPR, microcomputing, smart dust, visioning and listening devices. 

calibration is shrinking dramatically and the ramifications of our catastrophes are all the more ubiquitous, omnipresent, and insidious as a result. 

implications of these systems: omnipresence/omniscience/omnipotence and the promise of resurrection, colliding with the threat of annihilation, is a familiar God.

histories lessons

Modern Times during Fordism
Lucy and Ethel candy factory, Fordism fails
Small Wonder (human-robot hybrid) industry unions deteriorate

Short Circuit as Savings and Loan Crisis

Inspector Gadget as RoboCop as cyborg-police-state
 

"smiling but dead inside” approach

I appreciate the doubling that is produced when our coping mechanisms for life under hyper-capitalism also become monetized in a way that fortifies that same system. The grandson of a metallurgist who worked on the development of the first atomic bomb invented the mechanism for blowing the giant bubble. Talk about trauma being expressed through novelty. . . .

your work is funny

Do you think you deliberately inject humor into these sculptures because the truth of it all is pretty bleak?

privatization of stress, capitalize on alienation.

self-care meets 
Corporate Interest. 

fidget and spin.

Novelty items and office toys 
totems of abstract labor, 
but funny. 

kitsch is our only authentic vernacular of social class these days 
(because it’s not authentic at all, and doesn’t aspire to be so). 


metaphysics of bodies, but objects. techno-spiritual analogs. +my hard materialist worldviews.

moves from a hacking community online to a physical space
then ends in an ephemeral distillation of the body

metaphysic of smoke
pushing an embodied 
dimension out into     space. 

the presence of this techno-spiritual dimension, analogous structure in vaping 
the promise of transcendence within consumer culture 
(and neoliberal technological innovation) 

voluntary or involuntary subordinate positions that capitalism produces relative to technology: NSA/Prism data and metadata caches, the validity of voting mechanisms, or net neutrality. 

The Internet of Things (and animism) has a strange relationship with Cartesian dualism and complicates+

holistic and technologically transcendent quality to the vape community and I am curious about how it can function in antithetical and perhaps resistant ways, as compared to hard-edged, alt-right online movements, despite emerging from similar internet zones.""""""""""""""""""

your notion of social architecture 

along a hierarchical mode of organization 
occupying nesting spheres: the performers syncing with each other 
who also belong to an articulated and nuanced vape subculture, 
which exists and emerges IRL via the web; 

locating the performance as embedded in the larger sphere of national citizenship 
relative to the geopolitical presence of American-Russian bilateralism.
via an audio recording of the synchronized swim routine executed by Russia’s “angels” 

Here, I’m referring other net subcultural modalities as critical linguistic and ideological nuclei, 
and        recent reenactments of subversive Cold War-era double entendres and euphemisms 
these spaces: updated proxy war. 


I’m starting with the vape performance, more-or-less *performance's only life is in the present*

ephemeral installation that        exists in your mind, 
until you outsource the labor. 

like smoking cigarettes c. 1999,      a form of social architecture—in this sense, 
                                     a decorative motif,         performance

I’d argue,  Peggy Phelan, you try to document it and then poof; “vape” 

It’s pretty Rococo,                                  as consumerist adornments go. 
What’s making you want to collaborate with the synchronized           ?
devices locate us in a diffuse kind of capitalism

—one based on the fact that technology is now almost too emptied out of meaning

some artist: the hands of early adopters (read: the wealthy)

The Internet of Things makes me feel 
radical transhumanism cannot 
will not exist without neoliberal 
economic forces propelling it into ___________.
*grad school says it's true*

And that’s really exciting and 
unfortunate all at the same time.
*just like them*

Monday, August 21, 2017

hurts more when you think they owe you something. no one does.

callin hold hands, all alert, in case you didn't know, we graduated 3 months ago, and i, idf you r evil enough to ask: don't expect much now, we slow and methodical , but we always end up getting what we want. is deserve"" even a thing? nope. we said what we want. rnRN: crocodile huntter tno. and, '''''we eventually, vegan crocodile hunter...it helps to know what it is. it helps to know i've given every fuck along the wai'll have given every fuck along the way, whatever that lookeventual looks like. so we insufferable and bravado, but all lampoon,elli willand we aren't very 'likeable'' *vomit*

Sometimes ppl hate you for literally no reason! For something like never having asked their name. Like ever.

like, super ego, kill me now, what's in a name? barf

distill contagion. give it away

feel the pain.

"yeah, and what have you done since?"

after the street rats in time, sugar, it's your fault not mine

we have mourned many bodies, just to see them come back into our life.

remember that time we died?
and that other time.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

after my own hearts, reddit, preach

"But honestly, if you think you can grasp a hugely complex concept from reading the wikipedia entry, you're gonna have a bad time with the rest of Foucault."

i really do like small and varied audiences, group emails, even

but, how do you make a career out of that?

specifically in relation to biopower and biopolitics

if surveillance changes history, how do we use it to subvert systems of power and control?

and, we want to take this minute to state that we think policing one another, including PC-policing, despite my positionality is a similar form of power as surveillance--as it relates to psychological control based in fear, and becomes a social-panopticon, and is often enacted by well-meaning, do-gooders, and friends unaware that they are appropriating the tactics of authority. of fascists. of dads.

//and, I do it too...I also do that akin-thing: shame. as all hell, try to acknowledge-and-stop, making slow progress,and like all: still do from time to time, systems bleed harder, conditions get smarter.

it is likely, all vegan, that i will still be alive in the year 2050

and i'm excited about how i'll feel&look, all vegan
and cardio
and yoga
and strict anti beauty product skincare-thing, all nature
(but, hair dye, my brain is toast. all the heavy metals, is toaster)

and i love my brain the most

i totally understand why you would ask to be taken out of a group message with me

i make up stuff too
have anxiety over actual nothing

*there are no fair fights*

something about putting on brows. all straight-like. something like alien, or faery, and stare. something about putting on airs

piece-me like a frankenstein, well-known monster
day-to-day make an abjection of beauty-sought,
and exaggeration of contrived. we all-in, done
to make ugly, some armor for the social.

I look exactly like a drawing I made of my adult-self as a child

when we, humble-pied, smile softly in mirrors,
and still like self best dark-circled, nature-browed
after midnight, after shower

*and maybe we found form all on owned, or
maybe brain extrapolates well-suited design*

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

i guess i miss when poetry meant something

Personal.

Guess I miss when anything was personal. I'm too private.

creeping on red lights

Under drop clouds,
Final fear,
Tangling the first sight,
Anxiety raised in a crowd,
Closing nearer,
Growing roots and fighting,
Mixing with curls go rounder,
Stranger more over here.

*hahaha, drama*

full anthrophobia, on delusion, i wrote

It's like talking to a real person,
Clever trick, construct. Clever trick.

the secret is, is that they know. the trick is that you don't.

World. Concept. Hold.
selfish what you made their own.
Some tool in response. Illusion of trying,
all known, have withholding. Trick is that you don't.

you have the right to obtain information

You have the right to ask
You have the right to free
You have the right to obtain
You have the right to obtain

If you believe
You also may
                        Prevent

camp is high or low, kitsch is just easily consumed

I want you, full image-product. Beckon, little charmer, closer.
because kitsch is an integral part of the human condition, kundera.
and, changes according to style, but remains always the same.
pretends to demand nothing but money. find we capital.

surveillance changes history

People will alter conduct, every liberty taken away will not be reinstated,
what is ultimate existential threat? where are we honest?
AI-terrorism, search engines.

recognizing patterns while analyzing textual information from multiple pasts

we speak death during fear of change.
the death card has many meanings.

confirmed commitment

Phobe.
working hard, gaining habits, and not wear plaid pants,
and a Henry jacket, I don't want to die dressed like a jester.

no respect, intellectual in popular culture

Last snapchat of European supremacy

spent time. investing in difference. learnt what can.

worry of want. crave.
sameness. the sort of thing.
guilt is made of. cover it up.
sending time. learning difference.
to ignore urge. and remain the same.

self-critique, in writing thing...admissions essay

Symbolic, admit it...friend says my work is "innocent"...they mean ineffective
Write, "subverting systems through example l, no need to be submissive, these constructs are not impenetrable (we function within them) although realistically they are ubiquitous and subverting them is accurate." Humor= a way to connect and to speak to an audience w/o being preachy...which is off-putting. Let them know you are interested in new media...point to works in portfolio that take place in digital space, intervene there. *traditional means of YouTube labeling*

with the goal of becoming a professional artist (dont admit you want to teach), graduate study

...
cultural production to other venues
care most about motive and function
satirical way, simulate mass production, 'human' gestures, forethought and risk, not overly didactic, but, yes, socio-polical (some mention of influences)

Idea
humor
control
progress
tension
Nuance
cynical
hopeful

2 more school interviews: sat 10:30am, sun 4-5pm

-malleable -want to improve at documentation -more mediums
-failure is good, always learn new -innovation -tactical media
-generative -collaborative -interdisciplinary -get $$$

"I'm so worried about having to make concessions where grad school is concerned--I've been told that the most important thing is to not go into debt, but I don't want to lose out on a good, intellectual atmosphere. I want to better my practice, not maintain it." Tactical Media

collaboration: metaphysical truck

Before grad school.
nostalgic cultural producer, prepping for who knows
no bettered position now, just more with debt and expectation

generative art
interventionist
velvet mafia
research-driven
working w issues we
don't recognize yet.
slactivism

I can see each piece in my portfolio that an artist on faculty would have liked. Problem: each only one, and we still don't make cohesion for them. Alright, all are right, I'm a nothing and a nobody, and I'm not ever going to...

when you put emergency tylenol in your pocket, but pretend like it is cyanide

If we seem warm and friendly at all, it's forced.
cold and personal, deep in personal space
hugged are regular, not emotional. too investments

Known for odd distance, couldn't sleep in, the
way it had to be. give it the old college try. first.
grad like a fill. so, so sad, unimaginable sadness

negative press is bad for the whole scene

Only way to combat it, cannot buy coverage like that
artaud.

Part of the appeal is the erosive qualities. Square works better for cover.
critic.

all about the benjamins, with psychic distance, some AURA

Cult Value

On kitsch
formula doesn't pursue movie,
make me white girl covers of your favorite songs
+chris Brown wet the bed slam poetry, slam+ I reject his comeback, lemon out

parasitical rather than symbiotic relationship with history

Come at me.
Alligning self with tradition, anything, full-stop, dead.
And, that attempt is actionable antagonism and angst, to be embarrassed by.

High Art, Lite (these spellings kill)

fund my second at 14

I'm by
told,
annotated drawings of
notes from 2014: famished, disembodied body part,
                              sounds redundant, also, anthropocene fail?

wait, wait, for real though

How do you tell your family that you are more dead around them?
That as soon as you settle, you want to leave again?
That the idea of settling is the biggest fear's end?
And, that you cannot tell if it is you, or them?

Your very small family.
Your very vulnerable family.
Your very well-meaning and needy.
Your heart, but your heart you need distance from.
Without hurting their feelings, without sensing your own abandonment?

How do you say, in many ways you abandoned me years ago and maybe we never forgave you, really. Try so hard. So long. In owning ways, maybe we never really forgave you for it.

all-pleasing, edging on concern for 18year old written me

Interesting, but fleshy-branded product of our culture.

exaggeration as a means to expose

I'm blushing on the inside
it's those damn eyes.

Commercial transcripts read...in what context? Run. Write. Edit. Make. Finish. Work. Ad.

more from the unopened capitalone envelope postmark, 2013

Feel like you know nothing about we? Heating? Nesting?
Worried true character eludes you?

[Public selfies that never go on internet]

Stop talking to them, but email them stories.
Device to give distance, but keep them close.

*I should have never let them wrap that plaid thing around me*

Monday, August 14, 2017

some 2013&14 naivete

Moving outside the gallery space, a broader audience (maybe a different audience, the whole audience), gestural and symbolic, humorous, not traditional product design, satirical, say interventionist, not social practice and Ryan trecartin, Leslie hall, Michael rakowitz, Lucy pets, Michael sailstorfer, Stephanie syjuco...

kevin reads miranda july

and a passage about that dream I had with those princes of Wales in it. Scary

notes from 2013 prove i thought everyone in the world was an extreme narcissist except me, and i sat v high on my pedestal because of it

Kmn embarrassment, "Because I'm trying very hard to relate to my peers."
was also a stickler for grammar,
also hated acronyms,
still Steve Buscemi ala Ghost World annoyed by emojis, tbh

more notes from 2013

Right now
disembodied forms of narcissism, a response
to socials and media and indirection, some referential late night tv

do you think that Sinbad's pitch for Houseguest was: And no one
notices it's not the same guy because all white people are racist?
And he was radical and right, because we have to say ALL before better.

i would circle corrupts and words linked

Etymologically.

I didn't eat last night in preparation for this interview--
ever since coachella I've been wary of assassination attempts.
I refuse to die full.

good status; hold me; please

and allusions
old guillotine
in sisters odd

who is inflated?
they've never met

clever with words and
attract pubescent egg
not quite ready; about to be,
like an egg,               page 43

this is not a review, this is more of an inside joke

between myself and anyone else who has read the book.

hint at what is inside
that you could easily understand

*disappears inside of her head, in case he didn't want to go with her*

comment on how funny
and cold, yet tender, and smart, but

how you can tell they are being overly obvious and careful in how they handle the foreshadow.

12 oz glass mug + loosely folded in car

12 oz glass mug + loosely folder in car

16 oz glass + tucked under car seat + loosely folded in car

12 oz glass mug + Smudge the cat bedded x2

*history drawings, titles*

“Touch me and see,” , “For a spirit..."

Second that 
such a thought
surrounding tools of touch 
and pretend we give way too much
with an anti-authoritarian avoidance crushed.

i am an infant, but i'm telling you, i need you to talk to***

The excess of touch 
We start with a brief 
the embodied is the ghost of the disembodied

Strange love of hands,
hands balancing pronounce: phallic shapes

Saturday, August 12, 2017

i feel something, it's better than, over

been sleeping on his bed. cash from under
i finally understand excavating the past, collected
thoughts, drowning sleep, what do you mean to me?

break through the mattress, will it be destroyed
i feel. i feel, but i feel some thing. better than nothing.

centered bed and century old boxspring, make from scratch, distract

some notes on student debt and repayment plans

*how millennial can we be*
i am jealous of all your $$$

take a breath, honey
it's not so bad. i forgot what you mean
i forgot a lot of things.

swelling/do it right/ready for a fight

guess i feel high
something with your eyes
dripping down my body
no heart involved
tell me something
i'll lay down and
die. do it right

everyone can see what you are doing. what does that mean? i feel high.

my body.
her personality.
lay down beside me.

if you are going to do it, do it right.

there are some things you don't appreciate until much, much later...like, being the ugly sister

quietly observe, terror
do not speak until measured, terror
unwittingly happen by their path.
they lay it on you. the terrors

*let me have it*
*some trope*
*we take it*

poverty intelligentsia

all art, no craft.
pen me, we bleed.

read,
 enormous
   space

this is me burning pixels in your screen. and, this is me reviving them.

probably the last time, so many issues and subjects and these flash stories must be direct.
*childhood
chatrooms*

*games +
romance*

i'm like, no! i don't want to do that! imitation of christ. we have to talk about how you will come up to visit me.

make about tech. not people, so culture, stand-up
so, um, i really like to go on the internet.
yale
art
i fall for you
yes, yes, youtube
family-est comment ever,
"it's like fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring."
great. classic. birthday.
we say,
"it's like pegging your brother and finding your father's cock ring."
"it's like eating out your mother and finding your sister's lip ring."
it never ends, i have this professor that just makes me feel like i'm 12 again.


affection

what does it mean? if i tell you to go fuck yourself? you're beautiful to me.

my attention for you. even if it's not what it should be.

tripod + camera + video + recording before go _ just walk up to

the subtle intimacy of a shirt.
clothing such a boundary
between self and other
it segregates.

i didn't know this happened! hilarious and disturbing! this is fabulous. I'm a sucker for a DC reference. a little redundant here. as i said in class, delightful!

*the adventure of the fly*

8 am. absolute best time to go to the mall.
main doors, unlocked. an hour before stores open.
this hour long consumerist lull: the adventure of the fly.

most fresh. most funky. mating dance. seniors. citizens. flyest gear.

"how's it hanging?" magenta juicy couture velour sweatsuit
teal walking cane. clash.

"short, shriveled, and to the left." with a grin that just about
knocks off Sally's butterfly tramp stamp.

dawsons creek.
gelled bangs.
duckbill.

Dennis snaps her thong.

the car challenged the sunrise for attention, with noon jello shots ahead.


made-in-indonesia-land

the dollar tree
never purchase a thing
oddities to look upon
mops overnight, matters
media trashed my ideals

*zero calories drinks*

interesting background. i love the idea of speedbumps being the devil. ha! nice!

empty corridor. after philosophy class. this week antichrist. couldn't get beyond. good and evil.
*italics*
best friend Christian obsessed with grays. illuminati. entire corruption.

3:33 day or night
mark of the beast
guess what time it was

point of justifying evil. evil, he did believe in.
quite religious. religion learned in moviehouse.
stigmata. the omen. the exorcist.
not baptized. the demons threatened.

dark. abandoned. hall. every corner.
parking garage. clink. clank. bump.
lucifer themself. way in. very soul.


i like the silliness here, definitely reading as two kids. | whoa! | i like how you have established the dynamic between the sisters of leader/follower, only at the end, though, do you start building some tension--what's making this trip?

2/10/11

laces up her reeboks, "how cold is it out?"
"idk, like 55." -- "wear a sweater"

"so, where are we going today, little lady?"
--intended destination, which, as follower, is also hers--
follow the leader--skip. gallop. jump.--driveway to pavement

"we'll look silly. dilly."
"follow, follower!"

slaps her behind and touches the tar 4 times. 4 times. 4 times. 4 times.

"how long"
"too long
hurry up"

hops from sidewalk to grass, 1 , 2, 3, 4.

"nope. no luck, me neither."
"no, it's the bad blood."
"dad's arm."
"they don't want anything to do with us--our family."

4x 4x 4x 4x
1. 2. 3. 4.

i can definitely see a sense of the themes you like to write about--art critique, snarkiness, etc. develop this! the characters are really interesting!

no. we don't ever develop.



cre.wri.rev.2

i give credit. i say, "that is interesting. class distinction, licking children. disturbing."
i am such a liar.

how many times can john use braille?
i think he's just really obsessed with the braille label-maker he got as a child, or something.

mostly i am a liar because i act entirely cordial to the most detestable person i have met this year so far.

[ (this year) (so far) i like these qualifications--shows level of snark]




creative writing revisions, and in-class to use

4/7/11
john began to talk about the significance of his artwork. he is incessantly using braille to subvert a message to the visually capable community. he talks about how he intends on puncturing holes into similar silver spoons disseminating them in overpriced restaurants to spell out the name of a homeless child. john is not blind. john knows no one who is blind. john is not homeless. john does not know anyone who is homeless. john likes ann hamilton. ...
[begins? present tense? ha! (.)]

we have finely filtered ourselves for you

no we haven't

but, our face is getting more angular
like his. but your skin is falling apart

i warned you, i won't stay

i know that it is over
in an ugly way, so please
don't say it

i don't want to sleep. i just want to keep on you

decide to tell us rather than show us
details develop into symbols
*i won't stay, but now it's time*
pay close attentions to transitions 
anything that gives them shape
*please don't cry my love*
such rising tension, build a scene
add, contribute, pay attention to pauses
*my love has gone away*

please don't cry. we know. we pain to see. well, she just found out she has

 a hysterectomy on friday
--senior year--
now, like me fb, now be interested in we
where is your cancerous uterus gf now?

*I think we found the thing you are good at*
{;}

still, i don't remember, because it was us: we before them

I meant every word that I said, I'm going to keep on pushing you

hands shake, quick movements, the ash falls.
always with these quick little movements--do they think they hide the twitching?
nerves? for us?

I'm going to keep on pushing you, because it is the only thing I know how to do

to press my ear to their chest. soft and fragile. delightful switch. are more attractive when vulnerable? a bad man. please enjoy. maybe blue or gray or blue? no youth in eyes, pushing up on 28. give me one week. one terrible week.


doub space, 2/3 of regulatory, so, 1.5 more accurate

That's good. I should.

The disturbing thing is that you really think that.

No, it is a good idea. It just won't feel great.

Lungs, you can steal anything, and you should have known from the look in my eyes, you played dead.

they eat out of cans. i mean, they eat out of cans!

setting/details/symbolism
dialogue and thought
exposition/background/flashbacks
scene construction

we were alone.
i am your biggest mistake

i should have kissed you -the ring-

i feeds
on you,
attention

but, deny
you my
affection

narrative essay: thigh gap, art project: subject, self to thinspo 30 hurried days

art, 91.67%
investigate, 33.33%
conventional, 25%
enterprise, social, 16.67%
realistic, 8.33%
(plastic, 91.67%)

83.33
58.33
41.67
37.50
33.33
20.00

Casting Director

undergrad and over still, PUSSY FACTOR, pussy factor, PUSSY FACTOR, i don't get it

*we might take you home*

I mean, I know how it sounds.

*it's not that we're scared*

walk down streets, only place you know, tagged the backs, some song playing in-ears, the boys wanna be her, i swear i'm going to sit down (about face) and ask for more. fail my sorrow. post.

bubble notes, voluminous letters, a grand dose

i have figured out how to keep all of these, to myself//you're still breathing//not emotional with anyone anymore//2012, how long could that last?//generation, isolation, compulsion//if you are still bleeding, you are a lucky oonnee

don't put any work nor thought into we, 15 crimes, all the time.

are we safe w/o flesh. ace.
is it gone? floating in the air?

[[[[[if you only have a specific number of people you care care about at one time[wish my name was jonathan]and you have two potentials and only room for one[change my mind]like company and obvious success, but in potential, why not them?
for, if my body burns an extra 300-500 calories per day, isn't there room for more?

all that time wasted. spent all that time wasted.

long afte r the thril l of livin g is gon e

deadened focus, sometimes bettered
barely miss the time when, anymore
something. can't remember, really.

h old on as lon g as you can

bad-sad, joke

where is the Gillette?
I have a few lines for you

fiction notes: THE ULTIMATE META-NARRATIVE

"do you ever wish you
could just stop seeking
that, even modicum of
success, and get a simple
job. a simple place. save
for more space. meet a
something or someone
to share with."

"me neither."

"literally cannot. ruined
for that sort of thing. for
simple."

"an interesting word: ruined."

"a narrative, not ours."

"sugar is bad for you anyway."

before you get that feeling that someone enjoys you

finally some company before you go, you can get away with anything
it pains me to see, try it, find out that hanging in suspense, cry on fence

and go
and
go
and no
no

+mindless scratch zone,
look down
         fingers and nails
red distressed , and certain takes
much like a
          meta-head




                                                   open with
                                                   hearing
                                                   and splaying
                                                   and what? and paint? and chemicals?
                                                   bug spray--that vehicle
                                                   with the...oh, air freshener
                                                                 *close with*

a consistent aesthetic, most valuable need me

I'm bluffing, I've separated myself

problem with economics,  not concept: all reality *in world*
paid, my responsibilty, some self, one-by-one, watch we fall
apart. pay for me, a feeling with charity, hold her down more
longer, expectation and responsibility, some swallowing most
of it. swearing in sleep. sick self doubt, hunger, seed. imprint.

I'll kindly grit my teeth and bear it

you're too simple in the head, there are days you feel nothing at all (?)

all my
failures
are clean, at least one day,
we'll have that--fall apart.


hurt.me is available

and, i
'm feeling vulnerable

collective institution checklist, 2013: dead mall project

concepts/outlines/manifestations
game [80's formatting
          | magazine height of
          | mall-dom? domain.
          | propaganda reagonomics]
*sleeping beauty*

plasticpulse.com
lvl.html
renpy.org

hurt me.

*you're such a baby, it's just a nosebleed*

somewhere someone is weeping (it should be them--aren't in this beginning, no one is forgiving)

[application ritual] all collective, fake w grandma, old-me, hold it right there
tech-active, another season, give me a reason

ritual 1: playback painting

ritual 2: responsive mirror

ritual 3: actualization time

ritual 4: the real work.

lay with me. live with this. double-lifer. for one week, add water.

resisting observance, I'm a forgiver
when nobody is around, I try not to care

also cracks, flowers in the cold, wither
own this space, pretender, own your face

can only be viewed through exclusionary means, as in the filtered audience of the exhibition space

public
domain

after the temporal,
happenstance of the public
art
all
acts
are
based on socially-activated

memes

but, exist as alienation, antisocial,
some anthropomorphic
making out with self
publics selves ies
draining
treading
bedding

mick+me, designer stakes

replace we.

The Book of Good Manners: a Guide to Polite Usage for All Social Functions
Perfect Behavior: a Guide for Ladies and Gentlemen (only) in All Social Crisis
The Ladies Vase; or Polite Manuel for Young Ladies

like machines.

i had this dream--i was never pregnant

but then there I was with my mom looking at a baby through that window, supposed to be mine. there were slashes across the back of His leg --penis still like clay-- that looked like blood-color-all-tears in a mountainside "is there something wrong with Him? his skin is tearing. he is falling apart." someone holding Him, not us. the window disappeared. " you should say your goodbyes" "do you want to hold Him?" "i don't think i should." not because i was afraid of becoming attached, but because i was disinterested and because i was put-off by his otherness--that illness--some sick-thing.

all things written on harry potter post-its will resurface once again

summers or grid gifts
[CORRECTIONS]
            ARE
        NEEDED                     I have
                                              been
                                          successful
                                          with keep
 Try more T        6 years         off.
4 mo progress        ___
6 mo?                      . .
year?
                             []has it been
                             getting better
                                   all along?

Susan Sontag understood the power of the image. Now that it is so overdone (cooked), ubiquitous, isn't it safe to assume that denial of the image is more salient. *my name is valentine*

I'm going to change my mind.

*obviously someone with something to hide, everything to hide*

now, i am feeling different
air, young, different

total picture
*cheats*
backslash
*delicate*
arrow up, down, smile

but, good question, does that make we honest?

authentic , full juggle,
obscene
much with fears.

the trick is that thing you aren't supposed to do (some antiquated advice, call renee zellwegger rom-com device):

compartmentalize \\we cross platforms//\\they think they are more advanced//
kid, you don't know me

different truths, different space, different people, we real

no one fulls with wholeness, wholeness was always an illusion, and we exist in parts, inside you too, of course

"i don't have secrets"

normally, we feel a liar, but
really thought about it and, neither do i

*my emotions = going in for the kill, all pop*

Friday, August 11, 2017

she asked me if i wanted to go on a crazy adventure

I said "yes" of course.
and then she brought me to
a drug store and bought a
pregnancy test and told me
all about your relationship.

This is who we are--left on read
but, the one you come to for true discretion.
Also, everyone hates we (not unlike series), so there are no circle crossings.

If only they knew what trope- gossips everyone else is...me: the gossip is true, survival, no dirt. But, let's take the heat, can't stand the kitchen. I'd like to see more friendships that stand when the other is out of the room. The only ones I can handle, blind honesty and chill w that. So, so glad you put a stop to it, because you actual repellant now. I'm a sad boy.

just can't tell if it is real, or stems from jealousy

I want to do every bad thing a man has ever done to me to you.
With consent.
I am a much
older man.

mess w we, autostraddle

Finally made myself vulnerable last year and ppl liked me even less. What's worse is twerps thought they could fuck with me. I don't know how to satisfy you ppl, and I don't know how to satisfy myself without making a mess.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

some idea of worth more value, and the thing is, you're looking in the wrong places. talk to me, guru

made his own thread with a charkha, a portable
spinning wheel.
evolved from a source of personal comfort
during captivity into a touchstone make own
homespun cloth instead of buying oppressor's   goods.

spinning was so bound up with identity
had to learn the craft before photographing
picture reading the news alongside his charkha

It soon became an indelible image, his most potent symbol

list of other people's comments, 2013 edition

laugh like a serial killer.
you look like The Grudge when you do a backbend.
at first you seem like such a nice girl, but, really, you're a bitch.
the smartest person i know.
i thought you were either crazy or on drugs.
you're a fake pretentious conceptual artist
you're egotistical, but make fun of it


                                                                       kmb, identity thief

paris is burning the institute sound of your voice party monster

authenticity in the facts or in the experience
tender, cult-like qualities for you, and there
are virtuals in real life. collective condition
accept them. so there is lies in question-fact
appreciate individual, ,question community

Family of People

Whoops, that's an error! (bX-lfhkcp)
Here's what you can do:

involved with body

pain undoes the subject makes


them Other. reduce/7/objectify
look Other people's in the eyes

only way to reclaim self, some
facing with-like appropriations
is successful articulation of pain
as simple as a pain. a patient of
explaining condition to physician

"you are confused about your politics"

this old man said to me--asked

"when have you been unhappy?"
"are you ever unhappy?"

and i didn't tell him.

trauma is a trigger point

between in and out--overly expressed desire of the age
old-mind-problem
as if violence did not exist within culture before machine, then again, define machine
then again, define mediation. i am writing to you. mediation. i am, i am, we are type-faced
natural voie zira, mediation.
life is process and machine my process.
are becoming
don't use simulacrum against me
stale]
trauma is a recurrence of recurrence
self
trauma monetized
machines are for
translations
transfer we
or we like it

20 minutes, memorize. must memorize.

lana
video
theory
story
lana
video
theory
closing
us out.

give 30 days notice/; ferment of presentation

3 min, 45, 5 min, w/, 3 min, 45, 5 in, w/, 2 min, 45, all times are ish.
           sec                              sec                         sec

maya hotkeys are shortcuts to my needs

darling, wish you'd come home.
and show and hide and save and exit.

show/hide, show/hide, show/hide. shift

shift and control and scene
bar scene

current, current. up, down, right, one. one.

set, undo, command.
sub, select face. convert
sub-d
save, save, open.    new.
open, search contents. markings, open
zones and content, and selection, focus.
focus, focus. undo all

small pinky, barely touching, centered lips, tickling

i wish i wasn't special.

hotbox, crtl, ctrl, altx

String Of Pearls had me at first sight 
                                                        & I knew I wanted one for my very own. Find out
string of pearls, plant close up
                                                    you can see the resemblance 
                                                                              of the leaves
Once succulent 
overwatered & 
starts to rot
it's hard to get it                                   to recover




+i lowkey haze you,
highkey
hotkey h8u4eva

move, rotate, scale, snap. snap relative. come alone mode

snapping, curves, other men.
upper brush.
lower brush.
                     hot
upper brush.
lower brush.
                     keys
displacement, first time we kissed.
marking, marking, flood.
current.
if i could have my way.
tumble, turn
weights, turn
surfaces, it's been so long since you've been natural.
clusters, color, toggle.
turn.
snap.
track.










probably, going down in it, rotten pearl like the rest of it, and i only care because i haven't slept in 2 days

do pearls rot? maybe not, but,

Don't spray your perfume 
on your neck like that
area where they,  pearls                         will actually sit
 *avoid touching your pearls 
 Other yarns like cotton break             *and rot more easily

rescind the observation

i want a real connection
something between now and then
happens in a place without friend
the same book again and again

but, if i could have my way,
avant opera netscape camino and send

live navigation as installation?

so
yes
ter
day

live navigation as installation?

so
yes
ter
day

multistep composition, how to make a game

bodies being occupied all the time, and they occupy museums?
                                                         and they will get miami instead?
                                                         because the whitney is bigger than us all.

play.overlook.play is a strong, here. look. overlook. *ppl at play*

readying them for a broader
                                                *message*
the implicatin of their body, their prosthetics

disarming activation: we are all implicit all the time

take a cough drop, go to the rodeo, the buildings are far away


             &

/
nothing * is an                              *
*accident, *here but           again
   *       
           *                        *
so careful         *
                       *
                          * in words it's nothing

*i am a black jetta, and you are a white corolla**
                                       **, call your boyfriend*
                                                                            / /

find us, hardly missed, make it back to we. two pairs/ she typed

all thumbs, lcd, backlit, find me/

the text is a tissue

a text does not consist of a line of words
*                                          *
a space of many dimensions
                                            *
*
      *
                           *
   *
*                              
  *

                                      *







i know, you know, if i had it my way, i'd be alone

if you ever make it back here, i'll meet you at that place we went
some poetic terrorism, if i could have it my way, catalyzed by suggestion, you'd come home
and we'd be first, mother find us, question how art bodies are being used, unconditional, everything is

*i wish i wasn't bashful when it comes to Other Them*

it's always dull when you are inside, but if i could have it my way
darling you would come. alone. subsequent agitation, hegemonic
power struggles, remember when you moved here, and the first time

we didnt kiss.

we'll still be
*friends*

remember that you are sorely missed
and we'll forget the place we never met.

*and, if i had it my way, you know, i'd always be alone*

there is no potential in waves such as this

work and authorship
places audience-authors
public archive activated
participants project, point
we can grow from mediation

but, full anxiety, the city tonight--perhaps a way of saying: I WAS HERE

pointed authorship.untag

three-parts, first act: precision cleaning. singular. serial tags
repeated often, visible to both
noticeable,     absence   painted of the rest, third act:      they point their phone    body