Wednesday, December 28, 2016

cut hair shorter and am obsessedddddd

Sharp words first w/ UP.
Knock plastic, "fake marble?"
Suburbanites snicker at big box.
yell at them (@) yell at them (@)
Yell:"I don't want this Target life!"

Think: you're like two years older than me tips, sorry you have a toddler, but just because you are wearing sweaters and I have a hole in my Docs, that doesn't make you better than me!

Know: you can't stay at your mom's for winter breaks anymore, you ridiculous angst.creme

im like, oh my gud, if they have a google alert for my name they really luv me

Camera shot: we are binge eating out of garbage can rn.

But, a totally clean and respectable one...like, real small and basically a new bag, basically.

Someone has said this about you, but not about me. Little do we know...

... ------                ------ ...
++++++        ++++++
I have no interior life,
 and you are my soul

           *hearts*
               *B*

We Are, like, Queering Space all-the-time, so yeah.

B better have my $$$



*it's effing treacherous out there*

seriously tho, cant i just make money being 'me'

I'm mean. In some waif, I already have.
I mean, why do you think I chose art..?

unlicensed psychotherapist renaming session

Am now Kevin Bavarian official
and future-cat is Libra Conanian

Anoint every cat we meet Libra Conanian
the first, the second, the third, and on, until
one day theTcat raises its head, says, "Yes."

she has a shower you can slow dance in

a dream

that's why i make fun of dads...i am one

#nodads

Monday, December 26, 2016

isn't all dasein by design?

toilet paper








magazine

soft + hard

wares

"shower curtain"

                    funhouse capitalism + trolling the ArtNet. marketplace, whatever. 

thesis breakthrough in a car on xmas, phone=dead, inking the inside of anon's mickey D's bag

and I will write a synthetic
synthesis essay, a company's
title: RELATIONAL AESTHETICIAN 

listing with trollhunter and reading [art magazine]

and thinking '----ies' are bad fake-troemel,
and, like,
adults, please--if you're going to take your
19-y-o-S-O's 'likes' as advice, do not dumb
down from origin. only steal to make better,
                                               to make(out) with something.

Friday, December 23, 2016

Thursday, December 22, 2016

sometimes somedays somethings stick

You can't let a dead child live in this"""""""""""""""""""""""

give anything to change the one thing valued in we

How to fight lame instinctuals,
whissh can only indoctrination make  R
      to find some opportunistic boneR

when everyone slowly realizes that your joke about being a Dark Unicorn is a

thinly veiled and mildly sexualized                        quip
framed by a history of degradation and

a hint at bravado covering,     covering, cover me
                                                    the truth that you
                                                    are the least
   
                                                    successful
                                                    person you know.

most effort/least payoff

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

june and back, no one's subject--wait, my choicing

i'mnotdoingthisanymore

stoner in dialectic, furry wonders & turn era

In Are You Afraid of the Dark: draws a penis and jumps to His death.
                                                                                 You are His music.

never gonna find you for a thing, some kate bush ripppppoffff song

Of course he reminds you of me.
*I can't believe it took you so long to figure it out*

we want to be hackable

it's a metaphor

new round: wicked game

and sister says, fault after
singalong "I don't want to fall in love."

and sister says, fault own 
"don't worry you won't"

                          fault own    it

Monday, December 19, 2016

that thing S turns on me

*.*~a sexual holding pattern~*.*
stuck in erotic <> self-oscillation
                       this
                    blood
                       bitch's
                               ^bad
                                 ritual
                                         art.

genius ppl around me now. with that rebel appeal.

What does it mean to constantly combat the norm? What reaction do you elicit without /circumcision\
Calling all Focault. Some power of language. Some denial at that. You are my practice.

Goblin King.
You
Have
No
Power
Over
Me.

Just kiddddsss, of course you do.

My Life's Work, you.are.His.music

As soon as you tell we not to do something, we are going to do it.

All reactionary-like, angsty teen af.

Friday, December 16, 2016

a blink is a jump cut

Neil down in front of me,
we like             receiving.

I never need until I die

possessed by memory: retreat.
we are all trans parency, on the shout out thing.

hold me never. vegan no touch, but know
I don't care about the "real thing".
I never cared about the "real thing".

good is fake, so is we. All facsimiles

desire for strength and power:
        socialize this Human Behavior

Bjork
is like some heaven sent for teen ages adult  

On Notes On...eat me

All history,
further reads: holla back!
Austin & Searles: Performativity

teacher evals

I'll evaluate you real good

our history is in loves with you

Lucky,
boo

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

some broken barriers do work

I just wanted my body in the same room
as your body. This is my body. Official.
This author is semi-fictional. Aren't we
all? "Willfully inaccessible." "Cat analogy."

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

we dangerous, aren't we

and it just wants to be heard
without subjugation, direct
                                    sublimation

i woke up for this

i woke
for this

physical is over, sorry

power dark self

freeing this again, in oppositions, but same, some repeat

++and our relative attractiveness is irrelevant and we always think we have all the game but who knows, maybe it wasn't wrong, even though it was a lie, "You should totally go for it,"   because we would just have kept-safe-waiting    "And, I'm probably more transparent than I think," and that is pretty transparent too.++
==true

in some fucked up turn of events, i surely hope i've finally proven i can befriend misogyny as well. are you readied to accept we?

When ppl worry about my feelings, I just really want to say, "Nah, I'm cutthroat af and I wasn't being self-doubting, I was telling you to get stepping."

But, then I also want them to think I'm self-conscious enough about their words and actions that they do not think I am too large, because then they would try to destroy we. But, then I want them to respect we and my input, so I don't want them to think I'm weak. And, I want to seem sufficiently humble, but I can't because then I'll seem insecure and they'll pounce. And, I'm like actually ready to be cutthroat af but the social is baring down on we and I just want to be honest and this is how confusion starts. With questions like: for feels? And why? So, then I'm like what is real even?
[delete]

sexxy cat costume

what's wrong with being sexy smelly.

i can see you on the countryside

sitting in the grass, side by side

be           my    love,

"stop writing every post about me!"

Emojis are such a readable text/vocabulary that ppl edit them in their posts for better articulation.
Tech catch up. Spellcheck still turns 'emojis' to 'smouldering'.

AGAIN+STILL

I just figured if the world was gonna end we could make-out, or at least hold hands, jobs. But, whatever. Right. Makes it out with no sense.

one lineR

Did I tell you about how a prof asked me if I was on the trans spectrum because of my given name...you know, because I'm so obviously a "woman". If it weren't for trump/pence I might have made a joke about it being my root (But I'm a Cheerleader shout out). Might have.

They have also said that at least if trump is impeached that pence has exp in gov, is better...do you even know how dangerous this person is?!?!

I like the receiving end. you dropping, I'm catching

Are thank you notes psychotic? You're welcome.

some nordic profanity

the number of times I can run across a colleague's name while researching how to do something everyone else thinks is ...simple...is killing my fucking ego on top of all the other dead things falling off me these days. I want to vomit all over you

tanks$sgiving

Simone Weil, and give thanks. I found you in my threads, my DNA. Ate, even. We don't celebrate.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm watching Son in Law tomorrow anyways!

been working so hard on this identity shift, for what feels like years now

Finally getting treated like a desperate single person. I'm eating it up. Still don't understand Rom Coms

Bathing at pitts zoo

Read 4 books in 2 days, wanting to most of all plagarize 0ne--give me your life source, make green coffee on residuals, get thigh high, work on website, listen to Haim(embarrassing), Spivak, screw-up for a year, just one. Loose rage. Year 1: the haters are coming!

I meant to write loose. Loose like a tooth. Rage just dangling. *time to get the eff off* I've had better and worse things off/on/in this body. Bodieees. Losing all meaning

from the book that we stoned that we heard 'we are the shit'

"I need you to recognize that this shit is killing you, too, however more softly, you stupid motherfucker, you know?"

michelle branch song

ask me how many hours it's been since i slept. ask me what's in my freezer. life is a horror. blood bathe in yourself (read it like 'belieb')

the atlantic links

Finish reading later: pretty pedestrian/annoying for ppl w quantum mech and theoretical phys background, BUT implications vr/ar, in support of diarist approach to theory, and what does it imply about delusional politicians..?

kevin brophy

*is going to read erotic friend fiction out loud at school *is going to read erotic friend fiction out loud at school *is going to read erotic friend fiction out loud at school *is going to read erotic friend fiction out loud at school *is going to read erotic friend fiction out loud at school *is going to read erotic friend fiction out loud at school *is going to read erotic friend fiction out loud at school*

*I wish I dealt with more androids*

Is it possible to feel gaslit, but then also feel like it seems like you're gaslighting someone else? But also you're totally not doing that! Because they are actually legit crazy. Everyone, everyone. That person is crazy. I'm telling you.

when ppl worry about yr f33lings

Nah, I'm cutthroat af and I wasn't being self-conscious, I was telling you to get stepping.

influx of capital

privated Facebook posts

Sunday, December 11, 2016

They said

and They will tell all in soon.

but today They said,

"they want to be a sub, but the world keeps expecting them to be a dom."

it was in critical, but, They really like me, even though we sibs, and that--

"I really want to be a dom, all the power, but the world positions me as submissive."

--is why.

Change the Script, B

even really, really smart people
don't really think sometimes
about the power of language
on with bodies and the like.
it's a big, big move to bow
down in front of someones.
                          
poker face.

some truth skills

I am so depressed by the idea of trying to look 'hot'.

why do we even talk to you

to me?

used to your existence?

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

club thumpin



Support weak in making a strong decision. Don’t ignore a personal matter. Winning: Your treat.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

what is this. bra.dead bro.down--"I was just high! I wasn't hitting on them!"

what if someone sexually harassed their TA by putting suggestive text in the 'comments' of their code, because they are def going to look at their code and say it is messy, and after they read the comments, dirty, even

//injured+insulted

that other quote:dostoyevsky:that's too idealistic and therefore cruel
                              ...performance+culture...

inescapeable re:search me

like they did in (the) PIT ,,walking
on all-charm prof, most large and work


some poetics in your voice too

//that quote: faith is a means by which one resigns oneself to the
    //present in order to invest in the abstract promise of the future

MOSTLY MINE

apple-head, shoot. Cracker!barrel

ar, ta, ge, ca, leo, vi, li, sc, sa, cap,  aq, pi;

(CENTER,BASELINE)
  text("Choose Your Signification.")

why waste anything? cult of product

//pop-up, incessant. photo*high*end*taste*level*william tell: 2 opts

smart, tough, dangerous, your future

tonight might    yourself
take, make someone want
                                      go
adjust, close conversation
situation  listen one seem

down love?      better pace.

Monday, November 28, 2016

fearing desire

mimic success

the best thrill, little feels of embarrassment

so serious, no wink, so gone
no wink? question if that's a thing
why is serious bad?

comedy is too safe sometimes.

Examine ways you talk and why:

How alienation make analytical possible
But participates, contributes oneness too

validation

"allow your confidence to carry you through each day"

as like someone 'really, really ridiculously good-looking'
unfortunate symptomatics application of appearance
we've lied on to well, blind confidence, heard despites abilify

still think using political bodies to pay off student debt is bette than using own

$$$

Look at this dump truck of a face. Back off!

self-exploitation fingers you knew

this is our face.

there are inpressions
of some 'friends'.

...exp is the only real.

morning college try

my sister thinks i look like this swedish beauty vlogger--yeah, maybe when i was 19

they make cereal killers, don't they

maybe markseltzer was right all along.

*
*
*

At least from what could have been extrapolated from late 90's interaction with technology.

loss of affect in the publics

ride.

can only relate with self-meds...we empathy

share.

despite med removal, some wisdom truth


'left behind' is a term for those who do not understand self mediation?

and, who screwed everyone who does?

boring identity

div class, maybe I was irony

a stitch in time saves lives, aka

It's nine in further reads: Humiliated and Insulted

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

*terribly made, but very detailed*

casting callers

Just because we turn prescribed baggage into a toolbox, does not mean id poli is up for derision...used to justify inclusion in Dom, your poor privilege ruined. Nope.

I almost just fell out a window. I think you all should really cherish me while I'm still allve

self-commenter

++I'm sprung
+I need to be more discrete!
+Nonchalant-like
++Cool as

I just assume imma bright light in your dull, dim life. Clearly the 7 year olds I'm teaching think so. "This is dumb. I want to do my homework instead." Kmn 

the most useless proofs

Let we never exist in a system where I feel the need to protect        "my own" despite action.
If they have wronged you, they will come.
Educated-stiletto-push-3kEuro-rafting-Waters
 and still, all exploit, be The Patriarchy.

some 90's slow jam, "close to you" anywhere "kitchen floor"

Oh, triangles. We will all be disappointed.

it's all bleaching and bleeding from here, veep. *meep*

...and that is how my research veered from post-human identity politics to violence + capitalism~Systemic Violation: cult of production in bodies of youth. (guess what. same thing. everything is the same thing)
We don't absorb 1/4 of what we read, but we swallows...we swallows most of it

impotence on high rn, all alerts, they still think Art makes better societies

Failing to notice we. That more than anything else we are impotent. Dude, we too. And, the constant years long knowing of that is tiring. Never able to satisfy some other thirsty, thirsty in the mirror and unwilling to give. Unwilling can be the same as unable. And it makes its way to identifiers too. Some thing we call Artist is impotence at high key, gloss, and finest. We cannot but point and symbolize, because profession is for selfers.

futurecore

A -live out loud-, a -card swapping- week, so with they. Say travel, and +All the notes and all the theory in the world couldn't tear me away.+ But, "Where on Google’s green earth would you like to drop your next today?"

well we conquered you

because you fell asleep first.

and
we are going to have to
ask you to leave our brain now.

Monday, November 21, 2016

giant ego lol

At least I wrote like 5 poems in the past 5 hours...if nothing else. And I wrote them myself--mostly. So, please impose hierarchy with labor...it takes hours to humanity-stumble onto the right trigger shit and copy pasties

refinery29 illustrations,

go fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurself

we aren't syncing, w/e, jealousy, also..."boss me, butchy"

-HOR-R4
Make me bold actions, with publics recognition
Think twice in sheets. meeting match, player
We do homework, facts and figures
They won't take 'no' for an answer (fuck you)
Forward with feels, show clear intention--transform
S.S. crave we alone, well curate company
       &future-talks don't overwhelm (for once)

FyourL too

<a href="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/travel/destinations/travelling-to-the-united-states-in-the-donald-trumpera/article32836822/" name="lt_Headline.1">
Travelling to the United States in the Donald Trump era
</a>
</p>
</li>
<li >
<p>
<a href="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/health/study-shows-depression-becoming-more-common-among-us-teens/article32838246/" name="lt_Headline.2">
Study shows depression becoming more common among U.S. teens
</a>
</p>
</li>
<li >
<p>
<a href="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/food-and-wine/food-trends/globally-influenced-filipino-food-is-taking-north-america-bystorm/article32858349/" name="lt_Headline.3">
Globally influenced Filipino food is taking North America by storm

Be readied for year-long depression, Arians

2017 is your last chance for partnership in 12 years.
Bitch, you're gonna die.
Alone.

*good*

Saturday, November 19, 2016

with death, masked. we should be more nonchalant & we sprung

but, if we're gonna die anyways, if our world is ending, if our bodies are wrong, we should just make out, even. fuck. instead of crying and masturbating every night to mixtape club circa 2008 and remembering when we had Obama-fate

we r so obvi just like all u. say name, say name, say name, talk about more than any other, count the number, always on minds

Lightbulb: write them into your movie as your love interest (middle school tactics)

Thursday, November 17, 2016

just abusing the body in every depraved possibility

Another self-hate-portrait for the road.
Blood
Like 50/50 unhappy tops, and$50/$50 for wanting,
                                                 + Murder me, like you
                                                      Murdered my +

I have done this before, it is familiar, and it did not work out as intended, Transparent Manipulator

If anyone has ever shown you a modicum of kindness, it's 4 am.
Someone else other than them should have their job. +Me most.
Say it aloud. we told the mom not to call the cat a girl. +Identify.
She is a word for Her. +That hurt. Spell I CUP, I see you pee. Tee.
I had a touch of the social anxiety disorder. Always read the who.
Never wanted to know rejection. +Some minimum paid. Illusions.
Belover or hater? Accountability is fiscal. Facial tense up, get high.
Preexisting condition, a product title. Do kegels count as exercise?
We are more for lavendar. Face-crush, source-code. +We feel know.
Everything we do is just a ghost of you +I smell you more than now.
February astrology, be might. Settle for me, so there is so guarantee.
Very few know what is up. Up, Miley? That rejection-attraction thing.

I will never begin with disclaimers, New Job, never.

descaling your coffee maker   we just wanna see you naked   injection site   what self-love interrupts: social change (?)   hard line, elicits reactions, survival instinct   personage-thing, long known interesting   some social abuse with correspondence of closeness   we are only drunk and alone   we've stolen everything, bananafish   heavily curate the things allowed and say,   you are what you burn for   no answer    heart-to-heart   hater   indiscriminate acceptance of proposals   let's be honest, it's more of an obligation   extended version   so humble for you, likes me   this profile pic is the right amount of seventeen   they look really good   a lie's a lie, genius   not a jenna, a lilem   sometimes we think to self: self, we   definition of a palm   what's your angle, adrian?   facebook privater   think about out gaping   some days we wish for some apparent and brave deformity   would you rather MFkills   we don't like that as the last thing   I reject being unallowed to be the underdog, hear me?   

it is charging for you. You. just for you...Both *is she perverted like me?*

Fondle my trigger, blame all funds.                        Save me from this Hell on Earth.
                                                  *things look peaceful*
Me. Me. Smut.              What a moving performance last night.            All sex, no debt.
                        *i wish*                      *nothing*                     *you both*
Aries finds it stupid. Reckless abandon. Tell me who's good, I need to understand worthy.

*hold me til you die*                                                                       *but you're still alive*
Prefers blondes, do you think it's hard? XoXoX, KB. Wishes wet asleep. Title for shorts.
                                                             *i'm here*
Okay, I forgive you. Elevated respect, daddy, man. Misspelling for you. Make you, remake.
*a*                                       *version*                 *of*                                                     *me*
Aren't we all demagogues in transit.                       Some like it home. And Squad coals. Prof.
                                                          *some mess*

We have a reputation. We have a superficial. As Fuck. Mother Other, make we right. Cadaver.
*remind you*                                                                                                              *deny me*
                       Humor keeps you at a distance. And, soon with deletion. Some save.

mouth+foot *some reccommendations* "you'll learn"

This is the thing: some disregarder from the ends on days. 7 minutes.
Heaven, define irony. "You couldn't afford it." A mans.laughter, "How
are you doing today, beautiful." Beautiful, no name. No placed. In it
tedious exorciser. Bike. When did so distrust? Who is we? Polyamory.

Write one more time with feeling, mine, gut and *almost history* we.
Almost pleasing. Something in the dark will find me for you, and we
make too meek. There have been exactly 4 in 4 who. Advertise with it.
How do I know if we are related? Celebrate. Celibate. This shit. Ugh.

We have been written. Lampooning people who align themselves. Those.
Not even remotely crushing it, killing it, take a break, roll a hit. Over and
under. L. Love. Stalk options, get poetics. In, on, at. Not one with my humor.

I just need one person to like me. Good I've got the one.

underlined, out

pretty, let me lay this down for you <no links>seeing red: mean in the feeds, followed in the streets (italy, pittsburgh, st. pete)

if there were only one category
this counts as thesis writing *all difference*
+some listed months+

At This Point, Haven't We All Heard Me Cry

This Version of We

what's with this distance?

seems so obvious.

some comfort from way over.and over.and over
                                                            *here*

this could be empty, and, oh, we could be too


If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much

Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
*everyone knows it except the two of us*
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're a kind of my protégé and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it

Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
 *everyone knows it except the two of us*
I've more than honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
What with this distance it seems so obvious?

Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cause you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body

Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime
                                                       *no one knows it except the one of us*

and, i hear im not telling, and you cant tell

which is really just the result of everything else being transparent and play

but, actually, come. play w/me.

"your reputation precedes you"

Or some bs.
Thanks for telling me

&we can have anything as long as we ask
because asking is the hardest way to pay

Monday, November 14, 2016

November 2016 (in case we never can again)

October 2016 (production is fading)

September 2016

August 2016

July 2016

June 2016 (lil bro bday, gem in i)