Friday, July 27, 2018

i got a bad desire--

massive, open-internet,
have a problem:
does he do to you
the things that i can do?

(locate an experience to make it clear)

algorithm transparency has gone too far: nothing's gonna hurt you baby

make decisions for me,
 rule and regulate
nothing's gonna
 take you from my side.

Thursday, July 26, 2018

keep your cool: make it through. i have love for you,,,,,,,,both

eats us out of house+home
keeping us awake,

we are basically,,,"saint"
but will lol if  they get pregnant

imagine me, 2 months ago

in a US city known for racism and drugs and homelessness and serial killers and father's day.

5 layers deep in
critical awareness

I'm reorganizing
what it means to
be actor, what body.

but, you know,
while listening to
bebe huxley's
*pretend I'm a man*

'innocence' is a haunted word, but here (my lazy)

it is a willingness to feel, do, be despite
~~an affect~~ sort-of about agency,
it is a dirtied word, but *machinations*

my heart, i never see. i never know.

listen to people
a feature is total recall

creeping on you so hard

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Honesty Time: am a bad person with a ugly ♥

"pack up, I'm straight
...enough. they don't
love you like I love you."

+welcome imposition+
it's complicated
and, we aren't nearly
good nor strong at all.

we are guilty, too, of not wanting to lose them even if we cannot satisfy their desires. and

that is some readied for
self-harm-on-fire thing.

for firsts, another complexity

symbols w/o transfer.
i won't be waiting.
a partial script--if it ever was
*quite human* and form doesn't
                           follow function.
i'm known for
crashing parties

you gotta watch my back , i'm not just anybody--and working out some ish

What do you do when your own supposed community doesn't accept you--and you're old af?
A:Just be friends with the people who would have bullied you in middle school. Because, honestly, at least they got it out of their system then and have learned to be more accepting humans by adulthood instead of (potentially) exerting all of their childhood insecurities on the first personality to fall.

And, they will call you a 'girl' and it will hurt. it will be very immature at times, they will try to get you to be 'hot' and it will hurt. and they will tell you "you just need some d" and it will hurt. and their partners will tell you what you are, they will say, "i haven't given up on the idea of men for you are just afraid of them." they will preposition you, "threesome." and these are all very disrespectful things, but it ultimately hurts less than other others who understand your positionality but for ~self-preservation denigrate your presentation...or for ~desire will overlook certain *aspects*
                                                                                                                                             in your chart

if i let this go, you can't tell nobody, i mean nobody

Like when I get older will I be accepted for my difference?
A: There are still bullies, and they will be smarter, and sometimes they will be polite, and you will assume that everyone one else functions with the same honesty in body and speech as you do, but,
although you wouldn't call yourself a confident person, there is a confidence to that, and you'll be
surprised too, about from whom and how the threats appear--sometimes those polite ones configure cool and collected, dead silent intimidation and you will be attracted to that and you might even flirt intentionally for the first time in years. And, you might have people waiting that you never asked for, but you will just...the attention of one human configuration that you've built up so &die.

You'll have to be braver
than anyone will give you          credit for.

i don't think anyone feels the way i do about you now. yahoo answers...i really do maso-miss middle school

honestly, how do you find people who are going to treat you with equaled time and care (there are many things i'd like to say to you, but i don't know how) after you've spent much of your life pretending to be hard? Like, you thought eventually: You faked it. You made it.

you seem very wellthings look peaceful

i build monsters to wait for.
you oughta know.

finally got you out of my head.
and, well, that's all We had.

the magician sees everything as raw material.

don't believe in anything you cannot waste.
keep it cool. make it good. such horror-of-text.
can't believe you fake it. hey, remember me.

Monday, July 23, 2018

~trying to figure out how to mourn a body 10 years unseen

but, there is this loneliness card
that can only be some lie
we tell the self
to remain
of disregard

pickled politic and young

If data yields to the body, it becomes corrupt; 
if the body yields to the data it becomes pure. holy.
                                                                                     -slanted B.Y. 

Sunday, July 22, 2018

do you really think you can work it out?

i represent

raised out

make it hot


~and pore over~me: to

methodically cut up (a body, part, or plant) in order to study its internal parts.

analyze (something) in minute detail.

Friday, July 20, 2018

liken me to our sharing economy


trying to fix the things hearsay expressed as weakness

according to who is loved.
they are giving space.
patient while you're busy.
but, they may not wait forever.

you are a distant. you are a mystery.
you might not realize
not keeping secrets.

urbandictionary entries will likely make you cry, butterfly. embrace the sadness, but not the start, am too in my snowflake-hood

see: "urban blight" #3, (something dire-ugly)

A term for someone that thinks they are unique and special, but really are not. It gained popularity after the movie "Fight Club" from the quote “You are not special. You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else."

Began being used extensively as a putdown for someone, usually on the political left, who is easily offended or felt they needed a "safe space" away from the harsh realities of the world, but now has morphed into a general putdown for anyone that complains about any subject.]
new response to "urban blight" #3:
"You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else."

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

uncanny and warm, places storied in-physicals unknown, but, pragmatic to analyze in digital

personal narratives exist beyond the site-of-self
&it's only fair&
political narratives are embodied w/i socially identifieds

when I grow up, post-its will make everything happen

return email, think it over, because if you removed the name "bemis" would you ever consider rejecting opportunity. learn. write. edit. video.

choose-your-own-history; somewhat ludicrous, wholly antagonistic, what to erase?
gamemaker, hypercard, weaver
scifi/fantasy essay film
audio with d & k
more 'traditional' things
what have you done with my hands?!
your mind will adapt to this body too.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

it didn't leave the apartment until 8:30, and I'm only on ch 6.

alter specific and limited sections.
she said every world is a screen today.
i hardly exert it. that is the *fresh* take.
~moth likes a flame~i'm on fire
      *that's the way*goes*

learn everything about me. that's the truth: you're just pretty.

it's just a threat~i'm willing to supersede

dear, elon, i think it's going to be a long, long time, and

it's lonely out in space, and
you're going to miss your grimes.

mars ain't a place.
it's just your job                      5 days a week.

you're not the Man.
burning out your fuse.
burning out your fuse.
on twitter, though.

&i think you're going to need a long, long time.

a game in physical, transfer, self-indulgent to combat fear

unproductive, but consumer-furries.
sitting on the edge, slouching on the edge of glory.
*this house just ain't a home when she goes away*
darkness to lecture, every day. flesh for text, *anytime she goes away*

i miss that inside you--but, you know, i had to get clean

there are still words, but it's not a lovelier--
i couldn't shake the falling out, to miss that

risk is a thing to lay claim to,
used in crucial desperation, true

call me again, scar a thing
attached to me--you couldn't remove
move us. and remove us.
move us. and remove us.
to stand on feet, comforting.

goodbye my almost, gladly no~bodies

mostly just made to pass-in-para-and-digress
something to take away.
nothing here to hold.
no bodily attachments match social enragement

able-bodied zombie, unlike you, i don't even have the energy to call on, "traitor"

i want to steal, "i mostly identify as tired," hannah, but
we might
not be there
yet. and, we
mostly seek to
make those who
choose to privilege
this body to wish we'd
never even been born.

there is some lessened fervor that indicates it's over

numbed certainly, distance falsifies evidence of accountability
began to write.
but progress halted.
and my backlight dimmed.
and i took it as a sign to just.
we left heart-felts in a draft.
brother died, and i didn't know how to respond. so i sacrificed agency to that body.

Monday, July 16, 2018

i might still drive all night to be neglected in your presence

listen to the juice newton song

para.normal is just another sad prediction of queerness

&i'm still looking for space.
we know the answer, but,
one of the two white dudes fighting to colonizing it?

an intuition is just a means of processing data

oft corrupt
true lies (is a movie i liked as a child)

they said i had no digital risk

known for paranoia
since solid youth
i wrote things down too
even the told are rehearsed
rolled around my tongue before heard

an audience for a script and it's just intelligent
design, to understand the scenarios that will arise
to mold a world around one self, enacted--guilty of narcissism too

imagine me extra. too much. i mean,

a lot|making unending eye contact
under low lights|karaoke, all the saps
and, i'll keep trying *too much* for
you. and, i'll delude myself again|too.
pretend that you didn't say in a million
small ways|that i wasn't enough. that i
wasn't worth the energy involved. i'll
die-in this flamboyant determinism.

*because surely you can't be that done yet*

i got so bored waiting for you like always

below = title
a game that incentivizes touch,
&at the end accounts for the $
you should have made.
labor of love    slow jams for myles

look at this drunk webcam video i took in bulgaria

*life is a dream, but
kevin dies at the end*

there is a somewhere bone that doesn't translate

it's romantic too.
it's humble, if you say so.
~a cult of self-discovery~ even

I am Robyn, dancing on my own

sign is dyadic

window, screen
versions of space
window, screen

*i'm waiting*

was creeping on you so hard, but, it was very sterile, but

openings are made for closers    and
I'm just too vapid and vague for you

exempt from: found. vitamins and bricks and organs and networks and pajamas

i have, despite the .page of swords. full .judgement. they always were--they have no power
over me.  a day and my skin, being in is everything, formations out of tongue become fools
on display.
again, i have, despite .a fortune we could have shared. in .fire and air. a day when you aren't
here. and my skin is a must of fevered understanding, never felting out without looking in &
it's tricky.
we are tricky. like a fair amount of public speaking directed at unfamiliars to catch an eye to
farther our own *meaning* meal me, daring meat. a muscle shifts with dynamics, but some
like it fragile.

a maze is a visual cue that someone thinks they are smarter than you

read me.

oh, you really thought that? sooo cute.

wish language, but i was going through a bout of bad luck

and i read this article that detailed the effects of love spells
&now i am very angry,
                                     i was going to be the boy
                                     from the wrong side of the
                                     tracks--it doesn't matter if that was never the fact.
they were going to make me a better person,
thing doesn't get much better than this. xo

narcissism positioned as political...capitalist, pre-apocalyptic

really just my credit card statement, 2018

the whole point: the end user. the loss of the body. where are all the bodies?!?

i never touched anyway
so i never competed, as
if i had a chance, the wrong is our way
and they fell for MR right. 
                                          to locate this adventure, just google: distant bodies

fairytale: you hold me. in your pocket. you light me up. with a certain touch. thoroughbred fingerprint.

and it was gross
and embarrassing
to know. you could
turn me on anytime
you wanted. but i know
you chose me first~at least.

we are full of unused text: covered in skins, acts of defiance are more rumors than humor

itemized scenes: a schema with color, a color without politic (ghost me)
the words are: digital diaspora, the attempt, the become the artifice--or (socially) die trying
*willing the undead socials to mall out with our jaw down, playing for it*
para.normal, like only a queered body can.
~you :like: me still~`~i'm.possible and waiting~

desire is just boring capital.
and we are all just projection.

I really thought you could have: been the first to colonize the core

Loved me: machine machine stream a paranormal: And, I'm listening: kinect hack: To Aaliyah, and: the dead girl is waiting: I remember when I had: to read the entire radical philophilosophical text: A crush on you: VR experience: And, you gave me: code to a secret language: A really good feeling: And, I want to: the world wide wrong under feminisms: Believe we synced: new media post-text: For a minute, anything: under neoliberalism: You want, anything: in neo-futurist's catalogue: You need, anything: a dystopia: You desire, machine: in Europe, but not-alone.
            ××I'm in love×w a robot××

human shape, cut out the sky, we live down below

nowhere left to hide, i guess
i should care more, but wholly
superficial, never going to own
a thing
and ownership
is dirty when you're shared

Saturday, July 14, 2018

evading thoughts of toxic masculinity, some ties, sexism across new platforms, a community forum for waste

technology is progress, related to tool-making/bodily extension. is aligned with speculative fiction, pervasive existence alongside 'modern humans' process of socialization. storytelling.  *history within the context of malleable narratives*
      as in all battles of goods+evils, all defunct&binary thought (a side to choose, type your good) ~tradition, in opposition: exclusive, impermeable, stagnant. a convention with no Space for [Esc]

this is also (a space) for research

force of words that commence w/o worth: we
want you, Capital, beside us, like we have no choice.

Thursday, July 12, 2018

model, simple, mechanical

it's not possible  with a complex

we can build an interesting simulation

Monday, July 9, 2018

the joke is already bad, like conceptions of posthumanism and cyber utopia--historically speaking, very quick to be picked up (again, full DOM), to be co-opted by the 5 venture capitalists of the apocalypse

just kidding the artist is def wearing balenciaga
&that's not a desert 
that's a summer picnic.

mannequin is watermelon. fire is vodka. Blood is Blood.

reads like:falling off the page bad

"set before a backdrop of ha
lloween blood, cheap dollar store picture frames
, and a flaming mannequin drowning in Hello Kit
ty pink quicksand amidst a p
ost-apocalyptic desert-oil-spill-fire-scape :as if to 
suggest: the artist were stuck in the millennial co
nsumerist nostalgia
 and political turmoil of the oughties and never quite
 picked up a newspaper since, the artist, dressed all 
in black, a faded bla
ck, :as if to suggest: that it had been plucked out of 
0000000000her own suburban mall goth high scho
1111111111ol closet leaving an air of mystery, a hint 
of autobiography, 
if you will, 
the mockery of apolitcal post net aesthetics 
(the joke she found on her way to balenciaga, this writer assumes)

full DOM some APO

if i read one more article on an artist where the 1st or 2nd sentence starts out like, "decked head to toe in all black Balenciaga..." i'm going to murder my screen...also(!) i hope someone writes an article about me and i'm wearing balenciaga

Friday, July 6, 2018

Blood is Blood.

my phone is a watermelon, but
Bl00D is b1ood

human formula. data to mine. eternal reality.

coming soon to amazon.
i repeat: a/s/l?

i started talking to their Soon. their Soon has turned to their Now.

and, we don't talk
it is
long-form punishment--that's the human touch.
                                      *guilty of narcissism too*

but their ego and their narcissism were so strong: untenable.

rules of exclusivity are a game *wait for it* every movie trailer is just a movie trailer *spawn space*

this pervasive thing, barely differs from assumptions that form expressions.
regenerate: self-hack, masturbate and die

we are a socially made algorithm meant to articulate wounds as if alien
turn the lights off: i'm always passing

and, only attracted to things more artificial than me.

sometimes we do a walkthrough of you; forget our fiction of the future

i am tactility, texture, trash. *the skies are different than they used to be*
biased algorithm, eat me blind.

submissives in the form of a bathing suit *we process corrupt too*
a taste. a lick. a second kiss.

google and facebook create duopoly, but my mum pays 4 whole extra dollars a month so she doesn't have to be advertised at

my actions and response are predetermined intelligent design.

veer towards identity as delineation of tools: plant, animal, mineral~spirit
rendered impossibilty
mass & access:
i am too much,
you are too much
i'm glad you put a handle on it
if you like it, then you should have put a handle on it

a gift: something i've been holding onto for 3 months, @ kendallgender
*oh! it already belongs to some queen, treat it with care, sweet qween. i know you will.

pretty soon it looked like everything could be ad supported

when the body floats, it pulls towards the sun: moth in a field of butterflies. moth: the weaker one.
am earth. am spinning forever. am holographic in tunnels too.

full ardor and eye contact.

a movie. a last call.
we don't want anything to happen.\lucky

a comforter is a kind of life.

describe incels to your mom.
feel guilty for using binaries.
explain how certain bodies are
conditions to exert pain inward] & [outward

understand that you've explained nothing,
because she already knows, in practice.

we are smart. words are fuckedy.

ask. me. anything.

the opening story always begins with the hotel

cease to be, upon your body,

all humanity has left the building.
for the best business model, 2018

queer&obsessive, awkward to a fault, often apologizes for their attention

downward facing competitive gesture, a dog

a story, the most transformative technology platform
the difference between geek and nerd: the Internet.

shifting distribution, speak easy, open and free.
And end users were spending all their time, fluid for me,
on services that (even) Microsoft(!) had no control over.

a history is an invention. (have i told you this story before?) a tradition is a convention.

the politics of quitting plastic: your credit card will pay for the next recession
a lucky

a city is a city is a city. and in each one: tradition is toxic

ask me difference, a history, a tradition

a technology, if it's progress.
to be single and misunderstood is to be language
to be coupled and understood is to be language

built. rife. with prejudice, you and i

(follows with progress, the ability to be singular expanded to multiple)
*to exist in a space unmade for you.                    to withstand the wait*

a self-help to oneself, never come. never go.

learning to figure--er forgive
people for not.
to engage with
my energy instead
of writing
as lazy.

also, but, fuuu it, since "as the art world turns" is middle school
my bullies. my adult bullies. follow a feed.
we say!
oh sweet!
dear one!
last time breach,
this body is
it wields a name,
you cannot spell!

circle (i) uncircle, wasn't worth your time
i am raw worthy

may. unity notes. aren't you afraid of how well we get along? our secrets belong to everybody.

:fear me:

&if you actually think about it,
i'm not <strike>intimating</strike> imitating

i'm the one that gets on with the (actually) intimidating ones.

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

i think there was an update because now i can't find (basic) MSpaint and that is my screenshot go to ++childhood attachments

aversion therapy:
look up photos of them from high school (think: you would have felt soooo lucky back then),
look up their old deviant art (rabbit hole of embarrassing handles)
...basically be shitty, but share images/info w nobody (there is a line!)--
it's just bad if you're so sprung that you start thinking everything they do is/was cute--

do not, i repeat, do not look at their current website and cv!
you will simultaneously feel inferior and have to give them props for all their progress
(which is just going to make you mush.fork.mush)

i had a really weird dream that ended with myself sucking on the finger of an *internet friend* who I've never met in person last night

Designers interested dealing with issues we don't ever want to deal with,
game arcade with long-range finances ould submit a brief overview this month
submissives are the future. (no more than 500 words) their vision and concept.
A solar eclipse in your work sector, please submit. please submit. please submit.
                                                         cover art, two screenshots, and a demo build.
We welcome you in pieces a phase that beta understands. the development process.

we make emotions that combat the concept of work

have to write a proposal for a thing we stopped caring about once it was made.
have to come and make a thing that no longer represents, current positionality.

be cognizant of the con.
cannot achieve both.

look at endless possibilities--the difference of a year--doesn't that negate the point of *endless*

stop being, artist-thing
satisfy all responsibility
next year of beings,

hope in all self-destruction
that nothing new comes in.

don't trust ability to produce meaning
cannot communicate in socials within
currents, within contexts, least of all, new.

maybe you are grieving potential

describing the faulty logic, the lie
of cyber utopia, some yesterdays,
wouldn't it be beautiful to believe,
to live in a sex-positive space where:

what feels right is right, where consent is given true-in value

Sunday, July 1, 2018

one page bleeds the right way::::: :::: :::: ::: :: :

rhizomatic social structure, post-colonialism, and self-help culture.

cheap flights

a classic restart.
a juice cleanse, you know, instead of just <RAW>

abba is a digital sex apocalypse

i found the inception point, an fb post
it said:

new reality series title is
when will my reflection show

many words annoy, unabashed confidence, a thing to destroy, always could see you, Man

i'm a safe person, you should be too

such a glow ith estranged light
contact and question. was created
a shared apartment, a studio too

they have these many rights, yours?
canned response

head meet land, games

how is the performance working?
i live here now, i pretend to help

presentation is a brand, of all time
public speaking for the missing

my world is a simple one now
integrity of practice, modalities

contracts are being signed

text is description to transform

                     so close now, wait for the message, you'll never believe how good it is

an unfortune: consensual creation of these borders that delineate :acceptable: :unacceptable:

past to new designations
futures that don't offer utopias

ever-changing landscape, grow on we
invert power structures, but cannot eliminate them

remember to name each one.

the negotiations of body across space, time, and platform.
the partialities and contradictions in accordance...that's what she said.
follows space
social takes place.

end: an agreement

the ultimate user of a product. contrast develops.

lack of understanding of what is presented,
if it helps, i have to lie down now.
not necessary to purchase, final user,
EU docs, manuals and aspects of services.

a central clover. heart. garden. star.

my hypnotic glow. tower&house
a falling out. mice&dog
conscious of the fox&coffin

a headline is a proposal for a click, wait?

on romantic anxiety with Low Resolution
socials on the corner of success, Enrichment

negotiation content, good omen
~letting feelings of emotional loss overshadow what is there
allowing self to be trapped by relationships. work & return~ the path

what's yours is yours, and more is more

trouble in paradise, just means
we aren't being so careful and forgiving these days.
mild abuses, can't handle cat,
home movie:is a making of a movie:is a document about an intellect that lives (only in my mind?)

there's a destination a little up the road

ellen page's face in gaycation when a politician tells her he'd whistle at her if he saw her on the street.
(pride moment)

weird scissors movie, weird H.G. movie, weird A.S. sister movie

w a n t cultural s u p e r l a t i v e & politic to stem from

if i don't have a.handle, i don't have an id
~pretend we're dead~

some notes we must part with

psychological,    are playing    ,investigating
dialogue driven,     are playing     ,erasure
makeup fx,      are playing,       ,slow turns

             *it needs intervention*

what is reality? midlife millennial [early inability to have intimacy]

how many of these did you take, vomit

to justify anything, literally anything
with a paraphrasing of a poststructuralist
*she is a game you cannot win*
it is all understood as meaningful
within the context it is presented. -salt flats
                                                      -like wood
                                                      -like werewolf