I reject being unallowed to be the underdog within this dialogue.

Accepting _____'s cold embrace

we don't like that as the last thing

Thing
Expense

would you rather MFkills

I'd rather lose twenty pounds than finish my graduate degree.
I'd rather lose forty pounds than pay for it.

I would give up numerous things to lose sixty
grand, apparently.

Some days we wish for some apparent and Brave deformity to spare us from obscurity.

I think about our gaping effing wounds all the time. All the time, just weeping. And I think about what culture, through sensitivity, is lost.

We are, we are...appropriate.

fb privatR

Playing Superman with ghosts. It's a little painful.

Playing Ubermensch with you. It's a little lonely...up here.

Up in here, up in here.

Hahaha. What's your angle, Adrian Lyne?

 🇷19, Young, Honest, Nice







(a poem)
((an indecent proposal))

definition of a plan

One poem websites, via freedom. Ala WordPress. More adverts? Ancient Angelfire.
.
. All you can eat.
.
Poorly manicured webpages become an allegory for real space (domesticity owned networking, something about Oprah).
.
..Stillborn, still dorm-like. Ikea, embarrassment.
...Adultish
.
. Special People Club!
.
Follow me, follower!
.
..I should have left you years ago.
...Thanks, B.

Sometimes we think to self: self, we.

How much of what we tell you is telephoned on? Silly question.
*this is our most privacy*
And the facade is crumbling all the time. It was meant to.

  @            @

*reckless vulnerability* Just kidding,
"No, I will not make-out with you."

Someone keeps calling me a Jenna, obvi a LiLem

I somehow fit watching Harry-Potter-does-Frankenstein into my busy clothes-washing-tea-drinking-light-interneting schedule and now have come to the realization that we've turned into a social Frankenstein (monster). *you can't catch me, I'm the...social Frankenstein's monster*
Also, for proofs: "Treated me like a leopard, a real social piranha."

a lie's, a lie, genius

Sincerely hope that there is no one out there that does to me what I do to all of you: psychotically obsesses over someone-who-barely-knows-the-other-is-alive.

Do they think I'm smart? The smartest? Funny? The funniest? Good writer? Do they like my art? Even if they haven't 'seen' it? Have they found out I'm 'unlikable' yet? Noticed that my hair is dirty? Can they tell that I'm intentionally insufferable? Do they believe the rumors? There are none. Like my shoes? My eyebrows? Do they think it's adorable that I'm straight-edge? That I feel abused on a daily basis? Willing to ignore my stroke-eye? Ignore my one-bigger-nostril? My weight gain? Virginity?  Are they worried what I think of them? It's all bad. Do they think of me when I'm gone? Do they want me to keep them company? Talk on the phone? The kind with the twirling cords? Want to get an apartment? A house? A cat? Would they help me find my keys? Unclog a toilet? Makeout while (while) I vomit? Trust me to put their eyeliner on with precision? Listen to me list off everything I've eaten this week? The things I have to get done? The illnesses WebMD has convinced me of? Either quit smoking or attempt to get me to start? Treatmeequals? Better their appearance without expecting me to better mine? Accept my dominance? Expect my apologies? Never say "you deserve it" because they know that's not actually a thing? Give me the illusion of a perfect body, a perfect soul...want me to notice when their not around...so...special. *run, run, running on (?)* Whatever makes me happy, whatever I want...

+You are all looking really, really good lately. Successful too. Say you want me around+

they look really good

they look really good.
and they are doing well.

and full of empathy for we, lesser

this profile pic is the right amount of Seventeen magazine Trauma-rama...Drama-rama..? (it's been a minute) for this post

Never liked it when fiction profs would say something to the effect of,
"You are all great liars, you're writers."
Because it never felt like a lie, it never was.
Even with fabrication. Auto-fi...Something
essential in the voice, in the intention...

it's like everything else: non-of-it-is-true-but-all-of-it-is-real.

It's more quotidian too. Whenever I write in an e-mail,
"Thanks so much, ...or... Thanks for your time, Kevin,"
in all its manipulative excess, I still mean it. 

[This space is as real as we'll ever be]

We are nostalgic. We haven't written in... And, it hurts.
                                                                    Hurts more,
if we are being honest, than not-doing anything other abstinence.





*my auto correct keeps capitalizing 'voice' because it assumes I am writing about the reality/talent show The Voice*

so humble for your, likes me

we are fulls with humility, but you should ask yourself :why you want it from we?
+ Is it like they always said in writing workshops?
Do you hear it in my voice? Does that work here?

*Hear it in my voice*
*My voice is in your head*

extended version:

Put me back in!

Road rage with a penis-faced drug dealer in pill-town, slackerdom, some people have Real dreams, "no, I will not make-out with you," lost phone/drowned rat/flooded brakes, thanks for the shirt *but, everyone assumed I'd actually wear that...together* --someone said we have an anger problem, but my unlicensed psychotherapist disagrees--She said we could rage together...She goes harder--body on body *we joke with you not at* In it, On it, At it--leaving something with a.c.vinegar in it on your face for an extended period of time sounds like a bad idea, call me in the morning, so fresh and so clean, clean--just found out Amazon sells glycolic acid to play with @home--gonna burn something off, not sure what yet...some nonsense about that heart-on-sleeve-thing (whatever the hell that means), It puts the lotion--100% undiluted glycolic acid--on It's. Nm.

And, so, so exhausted by the idea of trying to win your affections.

I am a dream.
Let's just accept It.

Let's be honest, it's more of an obligation at this point.
.
-
-
.

Just put me back in.

Indiscriminate Acceptance of Marriage Proposals

"get in on the ground floor"
"get in someone's pants"
"get in deeper"
"get into one's head"
"get in the way"
"get in(to) a rut"

farlexdictionaryofidioms

h8r

*Yay, fun*
 
Should also probably know that you cannot be an 'ally' if , with awareness, you 
still run with violators (condoning their behavior) and know that when I see your 
 feed, I may vomit. I may imagine ripping yours, theirs, our throats apart. Because 

I'm mad as hell *and I've never even seen Fried Green Tomatoes*

heart-to-heart, to-hearts beat-as-one

Have said to your multiple faces,
"I'm a fucking saint." I've meant it.
You are difficult. And, you are welcome.

No Answer

Seeking: article/writing on linguistic subversion. Not Spivak.
Some regardings, with heightened things, past even. Idig, who are you calling gibberish?

*you are what you burn for*

inspiration,
not for
passion,
stop desire,
think witch trials. 

We nihilist.

heavily curate the things allowed and say,

Do you ever spend, like, 2 hours contemplating what life would be like if you were less of a complicated-piece-of-shit? Decide you'd be more successful. Successful, whatever the eff that means. Yeah. Me neither.

We've stolen everything from Franny and Zooey.

credit
cards

we only cry when we are alone or drunk

Safe space create:
I work so hard to make you comfortable.
And I keep washing my hand. And, I am
                              exhausted.

some social abuse correspondence with closeness, not friends

why am i always expecting you, abuse? /////////your reasonable appearance/////////

Personage-thing: long-known, interesting is different than likable. And, we are in acceptance.

Close friend recently exclaimed, “So, you do have feelings!” A common joke for we. 

But, I always thought that it was easy to see, that the best guarded have all the feelings. 

Amateur Hour with dangerous-empathic-thing.                       Survival. Cope. Whatever. 

And, if you have ever noticed any vulnerability: this is obvi not about me--no density, 

actually read. And, make no mistake of me for the feed. But in some reactionary loop, 

some culturing--I say this as readied-for-disproportionate-criticism, a realer-fake-for-you. 

Flat-out explicate: you have only seen me bleed.

hard line, elicits reactions, survival instinct: a realer fake4u

Can intellectualize all of this, 
still, and no gloves 
in futures, but                         [depressed for the summer] 
lay off for a—anything, a week—because 
we are an easy. Targeted with strong 
personalities, as they say, “unlikable”, 

but pleased to know, disproportionately disparaged, more readily, with norm,
treated with hostility and suspicion—a sport, for funs, some satisfaction seek,
it’s been long-coming, a space of displaced aggression and anger and annoyance, for reflecting. 
Cultured. And it’s not unintentional. And neat. Everything you read is about you as much as we.

what self-l0ve interrupts: social change (?)

Won't stop thinking--unhear it.
"I can't tell you to be a victim."
Snickering asides, pretty nice cops.
Some weird anti-liability-speak.

injection site

+writing new book:

Combating the Hate, Crimes 4Beginners
 -or-
You Didn't Have to Kill Me (!), Dads.

we just want to see you naked

"You can’t just eat glue and hope it holds things together."

descaling your coffee maker

Put me back in!

Road rage with a penis-faced drug dealer in pill-town, slackerdom, some people have Real dreams, "no, I will not make-out with you," lost phone/drowned rat/flooded brakes, thanks for the shirt *but, everyone assumed I'd actually wear that...together* --someone said we have an anger problem, but my unlicensed psychotherapist disagrees--She said we could rage together...She goes harder--body on body *we joke with you not at* In it, On it, At it--leaving something with a.c.vinegar in it on your face for an extended period of time sounds like a bad idea, call me in the morning, so fresh and so clean, clean--just found out Amazon sells glycolic acid to play with @home--gonna burn something off, not sure what yet...some nonsense about that heart-on-sleeve-thing (whatever the fuck that means), It puts the lotio--100% undiluted glycolic acid on It's.             Nm.

And, so, so exhausted by the idea of trying to win your affections.
Broadband.
We are a dream.
Let's just accept It.