the part we cut out of the email: delete, redo, delete again

...after a fairly painful final year at CMU (more violent and social-policing than I could extrapolate from the previous years, which is actually *hilarious* if you think about it)--but I'm working on it. ~almost deleted all of that, because it reads so much like an excuse, and I hate to admit to any of it, my own naivete most of all...but I'm just going to leave it, because I wrote it~and, because you understand what it is like being critical (as an act of generosity and equity) with an audience of people too defensive to acknowledge their own position within systems of domination and submission.