Monday, July 3, 2017

itch, lane, 3k, 3k, make it rain

it's never accomplished
it's never quite enough
write, learn, write, download, tutorial, upload, uproar,
list, list, another. lists, they don't even answer emails
revert back to old references? follow-up? find someone
who holds you in value? your work. without audience.
follow audience, instead? pathetic. pretend like it matters
like you have...integrity. it never feels accomplished. and
it is always marked. even, try simple things, physical things
escape brain for a sec. push-up challenge, increase number by 10
every week, decide you can do 15, think you are *swoll* 5 days in,
go from 10 to 35 a day. know that means you are technically stronger
still feels like nothing, just like a master, stop eating. control that, maybe.
know what is best for you. eat, but only half and don't *drinks*, save $200
over 3 weeks. nothing. add more challenges, now can do 75 squats, 3min planks,   
and 30 push-ups, nothing. know you will be able to do 100, 5min, 50 in 2 more weeks.
it will also feel like nothing. become gf again. why not? budget, starve, feel little muscles grow
each day. know that feeling them stimulates your body dysmorphia, starving them feeds something
too. understand it never feels accomplished. publish under name or pseudonym, never accomplished,
graduate, summa cum laude *come load, as sam says* grad again. nothing. want it, everything before you have it. know you are the only one actually *looking*, great, decide to apply Phd HoC circa 2018

No comments:

Post a Comment