Friday, January 19, 2018

dear diary,

The best thing about randomly getting to hang out w my mum is that she literally knows everything about me and my history--something we keep close to my vest, well, because ppl are not entitled to others experiences in order to respect their subjectivity and in order to treat them with care.

Bullets. But, mum knows everything, including that I hope so hard for my friend's success and happiness that I'll give them advantages for something I want as well, that I can take it, the loss. And when I'm having profession-anxiety, she brings up grade school. 

Personality pains. "Remember that time you really wanted to be crossing guard and when they offered it to you, you told them to give it to Priti instead. I felt so bad for you." 

*and, we hate how 'sweet' this sounds, 
not at all, 
it's guilt of extra knowledge 
(always with the share)...and, 
it's a totally self-defeating, gross 
martyrdom, indoctrination thing 
that should not be venerated*

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